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it was 2001, on my 18:th birthday, when i lost my virginity. we had rented a 2-story cabin on the westcoast in sweden. you had to go to the place with a small ferry. i still remember everything about it in vivid detail. we tanned and bathed and walked along the high rocky coast every day.

in the night-time, at 3 in the morning, my parents started having sex on the upper floor, when they supposed i was asleep. they both moaned loudly, dad the usual "oooh" but mom used "mhhh" with a closed mouth. hearing her sounds i achieved my first erection, but i didnt touch myself.

i have only heard one other woman do that, jojo jinx. i once porn-surfed for 18 hours and cummed 12 times, which yvonne often remarks on. yes, she lived in the room next to me alone, but i didnt moan at all then, so i dont get how she could figure that out.

anyway, after 17 hours of surfing, i found a low resolution green-tinted video, where the camera seemed to be placed on a high shelf, and a skinny woman that looked just like yvonne, really enjoying herself with another guy. it wasnt possible to make out much detail because of the distance and low resolution, but the moaning was exactly the same.

then i found the website it belonged to, jojojinx.com. it turns out she wrote erotic poetry. i wrote a long mesage on her discussion forum and she replies "quote nietzsche on me and get me hot!".

JOJO AND NIETZSCHE

jojo and nietzsche hung from a tree

p h i l o s o p o h i z i n g

then he stuck it up her butt

said, you looked for a super man

but you found a super slut

but our affair didn't last long, as is usual with my relations. i had annoyed some high-profile hacker on slashdot several years prior. yes, i used to be on trolltracker even. i also used the same alias there as i did here. so the next day i went to her forum, only to find that it was down. i checked it on the waybackmachine, and then searched on that software on the internet. turns out it returned 150 000 results, and they were all down as well. it is said you shouldn't meddle in the affair of wizards, and hackers are our modern-day magicians.

back to the original story: the next day, i woke up from an unusual science fiction-like dream. i used to only sleep with a big t-shirt from adam back then. i didn't remember this happening before, so i hurried upstairs to tell my parents about it. but adam wasn't there, only yvonne. she was lying with spread legs on her back, smiling with her eyes closed. her bush was plenty and black. i wrote about this encounter many moons later:

i had a Vision
better than any Art

you waited for Years
better than Any space

we Made it together
better than any Dream

we joined Hands
better than any Bed

you Cried out
better than any Words

i Slowed down
better than any Time

i was still a virgin back then. i had actually never masturbated at all either. i spent my days at the computer playing the quake, diablo and ultima series. i also did a lot of photoshops, and always ignored my homework.

when i got home from school at 5 in the afternoon, i'd surf until 5 the next day before going to sleep. then adam would usually call me up 3-4 hours later from his shift-work, urging me to go to school. often he'd actually leave to give me a ride to school. he hated it and was always grumpy then.

so my erection was rising again. to this day, i have never smoked, drank or taken drugs even once. i don't even drink coffee nor tea. i am 41, and women still say i look like i'm in my 20s.

in my 20's, i had a line across my forehead. when i started taking walks every day, it disappeared. forehead wrinkles are exclusively from masturbation, says ancient thai wisdom.

i have a mark on my stomache from nightly erections. the average man has a boner for 2½ hours per sleep-session actually. i'd love to know what i dream about for that to happen, but my dreams are so faint the few times i have them, and i always forget them as soon as i wake up. sometimes i can recall the overall emotion elucidated from the dream, but in them, there are no colours, shapes, sounds, words, emotions or thoughts.

might be hard to understand. but consider having a song in your head. it's both there and not there at the same time. mostly i only hear an instrumentation or a small part of a lyric, over and over again. and its usually with my own voice, at 0hz and 0db.

id love if i could could get that hard when having sex or masturbating, but no. back in my 20's i'd get adrenaline rushes each time it rose, but that is far gone now.

it rose more and more, even poked heavily through my shirt. it seems i had both grown in length and penis length that night. or as yvonne said later:

you came

into my pants

and grew in bed

that night was different, i had forgotten my travelling suitcase with clothes in the car, so i borrowed yvonnes jeans after swimming, and didnt bother taking them off when going to bed.

she has never ever used bras, and often not panties either. when i smelled them before i put them on, i felt a strange sugary but also spicy scent. i didnt know what it was then, but i loved it.

as i was getting harder, my dick started to ache, so i took off my jeans. as i was checking her out, shed sometimes blink really quickly every now and then, but i figured i was imagining things.

not long thereafter, it was pulsating up and down. still. to this day, it pokes in a slant to the left, but the mark on my stomache shows that its completely straight when i sleep?

then she seemed to be murmuring in her sleep, with "take off the clothes on your upper body" over and over.

i didn't dare at first but eventually did it. she blinked yet again and her smile turned even broader, like her whole face was smiling.

to this day, 23 years later, she still looks like a model. her breasts arent very visible through her clothes, but when she lies down, they look 4 times bigger. more than a handful for each.

so i looked down and could see my whole length for the first time. alice said it's "huge, almost gigantic", and jessica remarked "what a pretty dick!" and when we had did it for awhile, with "what a wonderful cock!".


av Heartgold Worldstone (ris och ros)


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