2022 09 06 00 25

hi mr diary. mrs? how does it matter.. i should not start writing. i slept some with music on. and im tired of that music now. its just how it happens. you can have just 1 song but it is not my fate. theres a lot of songs. i can talk of how reality is but it is just mine. du är inte ensam. är du kurd? when i turn suicidal again it could be my last time at a computer. if its severe enough. enough could be reinstalling the operating system for example. of course its never hopeless and the planet goes on existing without me. i am not important. im just a person just like everyone else is. women do not care for emotions. because somehow i am perceived as an alpha male? i do not really understand that. right. sex appeal. but its gone. what is left then? it can seen that transgenderism and beyond is a perversion. but thats just one side of the story. if people truly feel like they are an animal. like a furry so called. it is not wrong. they get treated badly. if they keep alive and grow up they might turn into that animal somehow later. they might have a pet if they have the money to buy one. they might live at a place where that animal is. my ex and her sister breeds cats for a living. for example. its not easy and its a lot of work. but they manage that. they are good people. of course over time no one is perfect. our relationship lasted 1.5 years. it felt a lot longer. i cannot explain time. it doesnt seem to really exist? its hard to explain. one friend said "that was not yesterday" but it somehow felt like that? what is a friend? tracey again. i have not mentioned her often in real life. i dont know why. i did do that once. etc. i woke up 10 minutes to twelve. whatever that means. if you try to show the bad version of a person you will see the good eventually. thats how people are. good parts. bad parts. normal parts. 10 10 80.