Cracks in the firmament

so. got my first forced neuroleptic injection in over a year. not much seems to have happened. yet. it messes up my body but not my mind. hmm. one strange part is when they were right in the process of spraying it into me, i felt a chill in my upper right shoulder. where i again have a small wound. it was sorta like it flowed there. inwards or outwards? im not sure. but its surely a loosh collection. i dont know if that was good or bad? did it remove the toxic directly?

the thing is, i started working out when i was 41. thats 25 years too late. i just cant handle people now, with the testosterone making me see the truth. they piss me off to no avail. so, yet again, if i stop posting soon anywhere online, its probably because ive

spat

hit

thrown stuff

at them. it can only get nastier from here. and nastier in 1 year, or a decade? i... cant imagine that in any way. i do know it will never be better.

so, sorry for using that great title for such a shitty writing. im waiting for a vid to upload on the shitty connection i have here at the mental ward. itll never get better, either.