Shattered illusion

the truth came crashing sharp and loud
no longer veiled beneath a cloud
i stood between your love and mine
a heart betrayed a faulted line

you lied with ease again again
each word a bruise beneath the skin
and still i missed you most at night
when silence screamed and stars lost light

it felt so small the things we shared
the way i loved the way you dared
like waking up in summer haze
and thinking school still claimed my days

like reaching out for warmth for grace
and finding only empty space
like losing youth insurance time
and still pretending things were fine

i wished that love could fade away
like hobbies lost or games we played
but love remained a quiet flame
no longer warm but still the same

i live outside myself its true
a shadow stitched from me and you
i made my bed ill lay alone
no need to warm a heart of stone

i wanted love not just the pain
a gentle place to rest my name
i took the scolding bore the sting
but now i crave no suffering

i wanted you to hear my cry
to fight for us not just deny
but trust erodes when lies persist
and truth becomes a fatal twist

i mourned you then i mourn you still
a love that aches but wont be killed
id rather ache than hold your hand
and still not know or understand

i was supposed to know you best
to be the one who passed your test
but lies were told and truths withheld
and i forgave what shouldve quelled

i wish you knew the weight i bear
of seeming like i didnt care
of walking off of letting go
while love still floods the undertow

i wish youd told me what was real
without the games without the steel
i wish id forced the truth to rise
instead of drowning in your lies

but blames a ghost i will not chase
i leave it here in empty space
i write delete then write again
my notes a graveyard of the pain

you’ll never see this never know
but you were my best friend also