The story of how i met bella

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i got anxiety about the most absurd things before. like, masturbation. no matter how i tried to dump off my seed, i always gone anxiety from it. so i tried something different, i just dumped it on the floor. no anxiety. i lived in a shared housing for awhile then, so i even went to the public kitchen and wanked. after id done it for awhile, a turkish woman always stood outside the room with the door open, with her big ass poking out, smoking. so i started fantasizing about her as i was doing it. as the days passed, she got closer and closer. there was almost no one ever there, so she started eating all her meals there, all the while, i was masturbating 50 centimeters from her, checking out her tits, and she loved it. despite all that daredeviling, i was still real timid. so one day i refused to do it as she was there, as the day before she was leaning over with huge cleavage and laughing, and i didnt know what to think. so she went over to the sofa and began rubbing her clit against it. she eventually cummed and it soaked her undies and dress and dripped on the floor. the whole room smelled. my head was flaring up, but i pretended to not care. when she left i licked the floor. the next morning, she was there before me, already doing the sofa. so i sat next to her, but she had her eyes closed. so i slowly undid my pants, and started wanking. some women have an effect on me, where they never make me cum. its amazing. we can do it for a long time, the pleasure peaking to higher and higher levels for each passing hour. as i was stroking my cock, a lot of precum came out, and it started making squiggly noises. so she slowly opened her eyes, like a flower. "oh, i didnt know you were so big. how could you hide it under the table?" i let go of my cock, and she noticed how it sprung up and poked my stomache. i actually have a mark there, from erections when sleeping every night. ive only seen it in one other guy, an old bus-driver, who also had red hair. ive heard about female redheads being loonies in bed, but that redhead guys have the softest foreskin, the hardest metalrod like cocks, the proudest erection, and the most stamina, no. so i asked her for a smoke. she replied "but were n-" i said, "live a little". she laughed, and handed me one. she lit it up and i tried to smoke it as soon as possible. i noticed strange things happening to me. then i realized, ah, weed, real potent. my vision improved by a large degree, to the point that i could see that she really had orange skin, she never eats veggies or drinks orange juice, so thats why. as we were talking over another joint, which i smoked slower, i could see her skin through her dress, flaring up, depending on what i was saying. then my hearing improved too, i could notice little nuances in her speech, like if she said 10 words, inbetween stroking herself, i could really hear a 100. i knew this was going to be good. then my tactile sense increased too. i began stroking myself much slower, as it just felt too good going fast, like some girls cant handle licking their clit, but just want the motion going on around it. i now heard how she was orgasming although no visual signs were present, so i quickly pulled up her dress and removed her panties, and entered. she must have weighed like 150kg, and she wasnt tall either, so with all that fat around her cunt she was real tight. i could feel her heartbeat, but it wasnt beating fast, rather the opposite. i counted it to 12bpm. she had said earlier than she takes "20 pills per day", i took nothing. i didnt even drink coffee or tea, whats why the weed had such a strong effect on me. i moved inside her slowly, trying not to cum. i could hear her orgasm noises again, so i started pounding her faster and faster, and we both came at the same time. and then the anxiety again, obviously. and now i got paranoia with it as well. she asked if she should leave, but i begged her to stay with me. i couldnt close my eyes as i saw demons then. i asked her to close the door too to mask out noises. so she just stood on her knees, completely naked, jacking me off real slowly while fingering herself with the other hand, for hours, while i oogled on different parts of her body, again, flaring up, from her reading my mind. then i asked her to stay with me until i fell asleep. she said "then i want you to be inside me". i obliged. she slowly ascended on me, noticing in my facial expression that i was to cum any second now, and we both wanted me hard. eventually, the only movement in our bodies was my erection throbbing against her insides, and her bloodflow juggling her tits and ass. eventually i dared closing my eyes, and fell asleep in a second. stupid as i was, a few days prior i had insta-messaged another turkish woman at the housing. why didnt i just go up to her directly? i had stroked my cock and cummed twice while miss fat lips was eating, and i was still hard. i didnt know what to do, but i only started fantasizing now about the other chick? she was taller, and real real thin. we had been going on visits to churches. one time i recommended this church in the middle of nowhere, it took 2 hours to get there, and there was actually a marriage taking place. no one objected to us being there. as the bride threw her flowers, miss skinny catched it. when we went to the next church, also far off, a priest said that "the only couples who come here are the ones who are gonna get married". so she saw that as a sign. i got a card by her a week later, i just glanced over it as it was in turkish. now when i translated it online, it says "the marriage between"... me and her. i was so naive back then. how could i have known? guessed? figured it out? the signs were right there but i didnt get a thing. the last church we went to we actually didnt find it. she had been playing a bunch of songs on her smartphone, and her battery died, and it was a lot of to and fro to. we ended up coming to a farmers field, it was full of sunflowers. yellow, her favourite colour, she had clothes like that on her then. she started moving quickly and pulled off her shirt in the speed. she used to run a lot, and im not very speedy, but i tried. she fell eventually, and i pulled my pants down. of all the women, they all had various good things to say about my dick. but she said nothing. "arent you gonna cum soon?" she replied with dismay. "i told you, im like a woman, i have a hard time cumming". she looked at my hands and agreed that yes, they were feminine. "they are as long and soft as your cock, would you mind...?". i didnt know what to say. thankfully, i have real nimble joints, so i can put my thumb in the middle of my hand. that helped me entering her. as she started cumming, she said "try now". so i put my cock inside her, and i could sense the musksmell from her cunt. it was intoxicating. i cummed soon enough. "arent you gonna help yourself?" so i started licking her, but she wanted help from my fingers as well. "put them in a V and rub my upper inside", thats where the g-spot is. she cummed yet again, and then i began experimenting. women say i have a nose like a finger, so i began digging her like a pig. she loved it. it was starting to get dark, but she asked me to sleep there with her, it was a long way back, if wed ever find it. we were completely exhausted by now anyway. as i was drifting into sleep, i noticed that she rolled away from me in the mud. as i awoke the next morning, she was gone. back to the insta-message. i told the most dirtiest things i could think of. i woke up at exactly midnight with my phone beeping like crazy that night, as if it was possessed by a devil. she had sent her messages seconds after mine, but they hadnt arrived. now her 20 angry mails arrived in 2 seconds. i read the first one, "i am not your girl!!!". right, i had rhymed on "you are and will always be my girl" in the last line. i deleted the rest, my anxiety was rising something incredibly. but i went to the kitchen and jacked off, and it was back to normal. oh, i actually forgot to delete one of them. i read it in the morning when i woke up with miss fatty in my arms. it said "give miss fatty an orgasm so she dies". how did she know about her, or us? right, the turkish people are a lot about family, and everyone knows everything. as i realized what id done, id also done something else, like she prophesied. my cock started aching and also the front of my body, and i felt real cold. i looked up from my smartphone, and there was miss fattys stale corpse, all in blue, laying on me. i couldnt move, and i could barely breathe. i am now in a nursing home since a year back. my dick decayed away until they found us there. my hearts bpm is also 12 now, and the only thing i can move is my head and arms, the only parts she wasnt touching. i sleep 12 hours per night, and am awake for a few hours in the morning. then i rest for the remaining of the day, and its mostly intertwined with anxiety. i have 20 pills per day for a plethora of ailments. the staff treats me like dirt, and when i have anxiety, even if it seems impossible, theyre even more horrible to me. for all my years denouncing the psychiatric system, i honestly have to say that the somatic system is worse. i take 3 kinds of painkillers, 5 neuroleptics, and also 7 different injections per month. the last time when i was in the hospital, the transport service woman was the most amazing one id ever met. i thought nothing of her first. she was in the 60s, wrinkly like hell, but she still put makeup on it. she started talking geeky to me, then asked "why is your name tomas emma?" i said ive always felt like a girl inside. she looked more in my files, and noticed they had actually frozen down my cocks forehead, as it was completely intact. she convinced me to change my gender. it was a much easier surgery than anyone elses. you see, my dick actually decayed inwards as she was laying on me. i had tried fingering myself a few times, and it worked. since i spend 90% of my waking time on facebook, ive started clicking on dating ads. after sending a 100 "wanna fuck?" messages, to which 99 are always to fake AI profiles, i finally got my match. ive had sex with a few guys since then, but it really doesnt work. im just not attracted to them. i feel like a girl in every other way though. so i started hunting for trans women. didnt really work either, their silicone tits were cold. so i found girls with natural tits, but their dicks arent very big. eventually i looked up escorts. i payed a woman $30000, all my savings, to stay with me for a week. we drew together, we photoshopped together, we made music together. absolutely everything. her tits werent much to talk about, they just hang, like udders. we didnt really do much that week. she made her makeup 3 hours per day, and showered 3 hours per day. her tits did grow quite big from the showering, and her skin was radiant pink. as for the sex, we rubbed clits against eachother. never heard anyone talk about that before. amazing experience. she was quite the nuisance though, and once i punched her. i cant reach much, with laying in bed, so i hit her in between her legs. and wouldnt you know? her clitoris rose out, as big as my cock had been. she ran to the bathroom, mascara running down her face. i made her cry several times per day, because im clumsy. i can talk and write for 16 hours no problem. but its completely uncensored. then she looked down on her clit, and began laughing and crying at the same time. i am 100% female now, i take hormones, and i got miss fattys uterus, and the first guy i slept with made me pregnant. you see, yes, her body was completely cold, but they still detected brain activity for over a week afterwards. her cunt was wet for 3 days, as the cum creation depleted her body of water. she ended up looking like miss skinny when she was buried. they have a new clinical name for it because of her, "death induced multiple orgasms". the night we fell asleep together, it felt like i hadnt slept at all. the problem with me is, i am never concious of a dream the first time i have it. i usually wake up tired too, and in pain. but thats because i have done so much in the dream world. ive had the dream about 10 times now, and remember some parts. my dreams are really psychedelic and i cant really "place" them with events happening in real life. as i had also started playing runescape, then i didnt have to rest after surfing social media in the morning, in the dream, its inspired by gaming. so i was chopping wood there on an island. there was just 1 tree. it grew into space. i chopped and chopped and chopped, and it seemed to lead to nowhere. like a nightmare. so i began chanting songs, ive also done this in real life to combat anxiety. then i got sexual thoughts, but on an island? so i tried imagining the tree as a giant cock. but it couldnt fit in me. my dreams, are a mix of everything thats ever happened in my life. you have to read the signs, but i really cant. ive only understood 2 dreams ever. so began scaling it. when i get to the top, and am to sit on it, i always wake up. and there she is, miss fatty, sitting on me, dead. i know thats paranoia from the weed, but i just cant stop it. i have tried replacing it with hempseed oil though, and its started working out better. the callgirl i message all day long online, and she loves it. she is actually in more pain than me. she used to be a pro athlete, but stopped promptly when she got a blackout before the finish line in a race. she doesnt want any more money from me, and has started treating me with amazing gifts and food. i said id never get out of bed again, but she drags me on the wheelchair, it weighs 60kg and i 120kg. so its really sluggish, but shes strong and willfull as hell. eventhough she doesnt work out, she still has a permanent sixpack. this has been written in several parts, so some things might be out of place. forgive me. i usually never go over a text after ive finished writing it. she actually travels around the globe, as shes a reiki healer. shes even healed rihanna. she just does the prostitution thing as a some extra money on the side. she really doesnt need it. she enjoys sex with everyone, shes pure emotion. there are infinite things i can talk about her, shes called bella. ive made 15 albums about her, and 3 books. now the inspiration is finally dwindling. i look at the clock, and ive been writing for 2½ hours, can usually muster 5. but now im at a housing, and they brought me dinner, so the flow was lost. goodnight.

av Tsofmia Neptlith (ris och ros)

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