Tomas har 40 års kris

with the BLM movement

i started to wonder

if theres anything a good

about being white at all.

we arent supposed to stand out.

if we do stand out,

we are not allowed to he proud of it.

if we are proud of it we are racists.

if we are racists we are the scum of the earth.

if we are the scum of the earth we will go to hell.

blacks arent afraid of hell, theyve been there,

theyve lived there, for hundreds of years.

they take so much drugs they have transcended

to such a high level they have managed to kill god

and they have slept with satan.

so what im wondering is,

what am i good for?

have i done anything good

in my short life at all?

if i have done good, is it more

than the bad i have done?

what number is my

karma account?

is it high, is it low?

do i have more good karma

than bad karma?

will i go to purgatory after i die

and a diety will measure

my good and bad actions

and condemn me to eternal hell

or will i somehow get to eternal heaven?

if i get to heaven, will i eat an apple

and be condemned to live a shit life

on earth again where

nothing really matters,

except being false and drunk

and high and mean?

will i enjoy being a fraud

that time around?

so many questions,

so few answers.

my life is a thousand puzzles

with a thousand pieces each,

and just when i somehow get

a clear image i am

given a different puzzle.

this can change after a single

moment, thought,

movement, word,

motion.