Träning
intro
eftersom jag är sängliggande efter ett självmordsförsök, vilken träning funkar för mig? nästan bara höger armen. så jag provade att träna bicepts hårt i 1½ timma. det blev 1 timmas träning och 30 minuters vila. 3-6 minuter träning och 1-3 min vila. det funkade verkligen! en på psykosöppenvården sa att jag skulle försöka träna igen för en månad sen, och jag sa att det inte funkade, inga resultat av träningen, bara biverkningar. men då sa han "tänk om 10-15 år?". så jag tränade medans jag spelade runescape. det spelet är speciellt, i och med att man kan göra en aktivitet, och sen bara behöva klicka var 30 sekund för att fortsätta. så det var perfekt för att jag skulle träna. men jag gjorde aldrig slut musklerna, vilket kanske är bättre, vad vet jag. nu, efter 2-3 minuter blev det trögt, men jag kämpade på ändå. kände senare efter riktiga träningen hur mina kinder var rosenröda, och att liksom mina käkmuskler omstrukturerades. nu är jag i runescape efter en 30 minuters träning, för jag blev uttråkad. men jag ska träna mer! både inom och utom spelet. jag blev till och med hungrig även om jag ätit lunch inte mycket tidigare, så jag tränar verkligen musklerna! och har säkert gått ner i vikt.
anteckningar på engelska
ok. some workout. right bicep. lower arm stretch out, third circle. dunno how to explain haha.
5 + 6 + 6 + 4 mins. 1 minute rest between each. the second 6 mins felt a lot, i just wanted to quit :) anyway. this is cool <3 you can take creatin as a supplement, it involves "explosivity", which neuroleptics reduce, and which they check on, why you turn into a zombie from them, maybe.
3 min pause + writing and drinking water and taking out dip. lets go!
managed 4 mins, got fatigued at 3 mins. 4 min rest then? a couple of minutes is a surprisingly long amount of time... 1 min rest was it.
4 mins, fatigued after 3 mins. will try to breath in through the nose out through the mouth. 1 min rest.
stopped after 2 mins. my lungs/nose got fatigued? 30 sec break. stopped, anxiety, adding dip.
i can feel it in my neck muscles now. this is good :)
removed pillow + no resting arm against stomache / ribcage (mine is big...) + pulled myself up in bed for better position. managed 5 mins, woo :)
3 min rest. did some massage on upper arm.
5 mins. got fatigued after 2½ mins but kept going. i felt that. arm started to tickle - its healing :)
1 min rest. 3 mins then was interrupted with 2 o clock meds. got fatigued at 2½ mins again. my creatin retreating? or just overall fatigue? arm tickled more, woo! :)
4 mins. intermittent tickling. felt a lot at 3 mins.
3 min rest. ate some flavoured yoghurt.
4 min workout.
1 min rest. anxiety at 40 secs, put in a dip.
4 mins. got fatigued at 2 mins now. the energy is feeling, orken börjar rinna ur.
2 min rest.
3 mins. was majorly fatigued at 2:45 so stopped at 3. arm feels sore when i move it to reset the stop-watch, been that before this as well. just search for "online stopwatch" and google gives you something simple :)
2 min rest.
3 mins workout. it started to hurt some so ill call it a day, or, later :)
lets add together. just about an hour in total practice. woo! :)
workout again
woke up, had breakfast and coffee. rested with music until 11:15. i ran out of c-vitamin fizzle pills, thats why.
2½ min then anxiety so took dip.
1 min rest
3 min. my revolution rate is 2 secs per. it was 1.1 secs yesterday. maybe i didnt time it later out. so my arm is still tired. ill blame that on neuroleptics. but i dunno how workouts work. anyway slower is better, since i dont strain as much then.
1 min rest.
4 min. yesterday in the beginning it itched a lot so i scratched back. but after awhile i was just in a flow with the workout and forgot to scratch i guess?
1 min rest.
3 mins. i had a really salty diarrhea today. so it just let it all out. has to do with working out i guess? so today im deficient, i feel it in my mouth.
5 min rest. nurse came and said i didnt need that godforsaken powder for hte stomache, which gave me anxiety 24/7, i still feel it. why i get anxiety in the evening. she removed it, anyway :)
5 mins. really pushed myself there. i removed my pillow yesterday and had it on the legs. thats why i legs "woke up" later in the day. i could move them slightly. now i have the pillow under my left arm, so it doesnt hurt, and heal. i dont train it though.
1½ min rest.
5 mins. i really strained myself. i coulda gone on maybe another minute. but, no.
4 min rest. changed dip and drank some water. i decided to only train my right arm. since my left is damaged. i take 500mg x2 painkillers 3 times per day. i really shouldnt have started with them. but the only pain i got is in my shoulders really i think. so wish i could stop with them, but need massage then.
45 sec training. im bored! soon its lunch, might return afterwards. now im gonna play some runescape (and work out).
22 mins total workout.
the special thing about runescape, is that you can input something only every 30 secs or more. so you can workout in that time, then you get a sec pause, and it helps with the strain.
.
2023-12-31
2h 45 mins workout today. now my hand hurts so i stopped. started in the morning. did every now and then. i feel more at peace.
2024-01-01
7+6+6 so far = 19 mins.
got an anxiety pang in the beginning of training. then i drank the rest of the coffee (café latte, so tasty ^_^) and got another pang. but i hope it fares better than that, that i dont get any anxiety today.
i got anxiety after they changed me, but since id trained for so long i had happy hormones in my body, so an hour or 2 later, it dissipated, and it was very mild. i even started smiling in the middle of the session. hey!
it is some hard work though, not used to it. i just like taking it easy. ive taken some long walks sometimes, and it did feel in the muscles eventually. of course the beginning round was 7 mins, i ran out of things to do in runescape or i coulda done 8 mins or more. same for the first 6 minutes, i wasnt THAT strained.
will pause some, am too dazed (and nauseus, but that i am all the time it seems like)
my breathing has gotten clearer. its still heavy from having rested ½ year though.
my sense of smell / taste has gotten better. related to the breathing i guess. its mostly undelightful smells, but hey...
downloaded a stopwatch app. i have it so i only see single digit minutes, and only every 10th second. doesnt take up much space. it was flaky with using the clock in runescape. its tiny, and my calculation skills arent that great. whats 31 mins to 38 mins? yeah, 7 mins o course. well. whatever lol.
i felt a heat in my index finger yesterday. so that means it healed. i clicked and scrolled too much. thought i would ruin my hands with that. eventually i hope i can make without painkillers. as they do hurt from without, and sometimes with (anxiety).
misc tickles in different places. body is healing. i dont scratch back. i got both hands full!
av Tsofmia Neptlith (ris och ros)
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