maybe you have healing hands

I

when i started smoking
my hands turned cold
real real cold
like ice during the night
ive now quit smoking
and they are themselves again

II

otherwise through life
my hands have always been warm
or at least not ever felt cold
no matter how much despair i had
i could at least clasp my hands
and wish for better days

III

i remember a good such day
i was on a quite full bus
sat next to a lady from thaiwan
we started chitchatting
and i said that
my feet and back hurt a lot
she said her knee did
so i put my hand on it
and she shone up
like she hadnt been touched
for year or even decades
she gave me an orange as thanks
a real sweet gesture

IV

ida visited my place
she was pregnant
and had been hit and kicked
in the stomache
so we talk a lot
and as its time for bed
so she lays down next to me
and i ask about the abuse again
she shows her blue arm
and her stomache
i put my hand on it
and it felt warm 
soft and tender
maybe then
just because of that
the baby lived


tänk dig för 
innan du säger
något dumt
det dumma du gjort
kommer någon 
göra mot dig
en vacker dag
så
tänk dig för
tänk dig för
tänk dig för

think things through
before you say 
something mean
i know it seems like 
you got a lucky streak
that no matter how 
mean you are to people
they do not do anything back
this goes for the like of
trolling celebrities on 
twitter for example
but remember
it all accumulates
and one day
it will be your turn
so think things through
before its too late
think
for once

emmas

I
it was in closed psychiatric care
she had a round face
like a mix between japanese and western
so beautiful
and the round ball of red hair
that enveloped her
and she always used to use
this knitted sweater with lots of details
that seemed to fit her perfectly
it just exuded
emma
i talked to her some
we fell in love
maybe
it was football during the olympics on tv
and we were bored of the play
and played with eachother instead

II
she came into fountain house
like a calm wind
she also had a green shirt
which she seemed to love
more than anything else
it just exuded EMMA
shee had the 
most beautiful 
smile on her face
when she asked
do you remember my name
the second day
and i said of course
your name is emma
she smiled even more
she used to play me songs
all day long
until one day
she sat on a chair
and whimpered
HOLD ME
but it was so quiet
and so frail
i didnt want to ruin her
she picked the stud 
of the place instead
and said
awww poor tomas
i dont mind
ive slept with julia
and bella
and maggie
and erika
about it for me
i dont need more
i do hope
sometime in the future
i meet someone more
which i can make love with
like lovers do
but its looking bleak
i dont take drugs 
like normal people
i dont stay out late 
if it at all 
like normal people
im just a lonely 
geek in my own bubble
that no one can get through