948 video notes 01.txt

so. making art is where i feel at home (facebook doesnt really "do" anything for me). i was going to do a visualizer for my music, so i just searched on "visualizer foss" and i found a program. ive been at it for an hour maybe, and it turned out alright. it sort of looks like monstercat's visualizer but not exactly as good. you need to be good at layering, at making it interesting, if its just a linear stream. anyway, its rendering now, will take about half an hour. i tried exiting all programs and reducing the brightness of the screen to use less resources (prevent from overheating). it would be nice with a stationary comp for renderings if im ever gonna do 3d render videos, but i threw that one away. hey! its getting better. 19 mins left, 25%. i heard theres a good foss 3d render program that even the industry uses, so ill look that up. i mean hey, i can pretend to like people all day, but they never give anything back. art is where its at. been playing too much mirage, when some dude freaked out on me, just for me being myself, i really wondered what im wasting my life for. the first try is fucked up, i figured i should add a visualizer for hecatonchires song "mass suicide", but maybe that would have a negative impact on the world (no way!). the software is both streamlined and sort of difficult to figure out, if youre not a geek. but its just numbers, its easy that way, instead of lots of menus and "bling". so i pressed "render" 10 mins ago and it doesnt seem to have a stop button lol, so ill just have to be diligent. if thats the word. no idea what it means, and i cant check up on it since i dont want my computer freezing or whatever lol. its running quite hot, can hear the fan. ok, 13 mins. ill try not to do anything else, since then the comp could go into hibernation. anyway this oldschool comp has 500gb hdd, so its good. the new ones have 50 gigs if even that, and since its flash-based memory and windows is bloated, the space decreases all the time. custom made to buy a new one every year, but ive bought like 3 per year since i met bella omg. i should have worked harder on it, more layers, but then i have to re-enter all settings and im quite tired already. i dont actually get tired, i get drained of energy, and my blue pisces aura turns to red instead. ok, about half done <3. im gonna update it and make like 4 center particle generators and 4 from every side, should be more interesting to wach then. and maybe not red white black but something more harmonic. "a job well done is worth a dozen that arent" ^__^ i came up with that when i lived in southern sweden. was crazy lonely then, and i changed meds from 3mg to 6mg overnight. not very clever :( the hdd isnt strained a lot, since it doesnt output as png's but mp4 vid. i hope it doesnt butcher the details.... theres actually mp5 compression tech now, but its only included in software or hardware that costs like $10000. maybe ill edit it in openshot afterwards. anyway, to look at the quality and artifacts of the compression and add more layers <3. its not my song btw, i just converted 192khz bounce of the start-up song in ableton to 48khz, so its 4x slower but still cd quality. its a 0.1 sec edit in audacity. it would be better if it was a commandline change, since i suppose it dithers. theres that for mp3, so you can crop a playlist mp3 to individual songs without losing quality. i tried downloading it years ago but just couldnt figure it out. was for the RTN GR8 album, since it was like 128kbps many radio broadcasts, so converting that again and again to 128kbps wasnt pretty :| 5 mins. wooh :) as usual no one will say anything about the work, and no one will comment, and no one will do a thumbs up. oh well. i realized recently that everyones in the struggle, no matter who you are. theres no one happier or less happy than anyone. if anything if youre more happy than someone else, when you get your down period, youre also more sad than anyone else. i prefer harmony, peace, frid, as we say in swedish. hey i have 3 songs with that name, one is a portmaneu of 2 songs + lyrics. i managed to get a kurdish poem in my head. or as bella says, im a "tachyon" ^___^ hey did i mention the cat visited me again? wow. im so happy. without people. people are boring. 2 hours left maybe until the staff forces me into neuroleptics. i hope it is pretty. they check up on you at least 3 times per day at least. so its tough </3. 30 secs! omg! ^___^ ..  . . .. . .. .. :( hmm. harddrive working heavy. gotta love temp files. plz comp dont crash! i also turned- OMG. it hasnt even encoded yet! O_o 30 hours left??? fuck fuck fuck. thats what you get when you choose foss i guess :( fan is going haywire. i guess the comp will crash. what i dont understand is why you cant just capture the live vid. does it do heavy oversampling or what? i dont think so. hey already 1/8th, this has promise ^__^ DUDE not 1½ hour! O_o why cant you give me the png's? :( :( so i can continue on it in openshot? or whatever software thats needed to handle huge amounts of data. 16k frames omg. might be using 40gb of hdd space or im just imagining. 45 mins aw no. i just know if i walk away from the comp weird things will happen. hey, im eating oatmeal and i dont really need a lot of food at all then. like 2dl + water & some spices is enough for an entire day. crazy shit. to think id eat junkfood for 1000kr per day or even more before....... . .. . 6 o clock. 1800 hours joy. "latheten bedrar visheten". which means that laziness betrays wisdom. yep. clever works. originally its "I FORGOT. joy! hey i tried a coding editor and it really wasnt any good. didnt detect coding errors and it wasnt better than notepad.exe really. and ANSI colours hurt my eyes lol. 16 mins woo. 10k frames. e.x.p.e.c.t.a.n.c.y. hey tracey im a pisces because my moon sign is pisces both in mental and physical. im a pisces? OMG ^___^ it is said they go through the worst suffering, because they are the final sign before you dont rebirth anymore. rawk! 3 mins! this was ez. dont crash mr laptop! paranoia setting in. i love myself </3. hey i got a coffee brewer from miss neighbor. wanted to give her a cup, but its the usual story, everyone just gets tired of me. amazing that bella managed for 1½ year :( 82 megs. hmm. lesse! ^__^

(unsentletters)

hey i tried my hand at a visualizer (wav2bar) for the first time ever. there werent that many settings, so its not monstercat quality. for some reason i was reminded of this song, so i figured id make a wiz for it.

something strange. so i outputed someone elses song in ableton at 192khz, then i did a quick kilohertzshift down to 48. so its a quarter speed. and wouldnt you know, it sounds like a LOT of my songs? ok, maybe some. the thing is, when i make music, also when i did live performances in the beginning, i get so much adrenaline, that it's like time goes faster. so i try to slow the music down, so ill be able to notice what's happening! at the same time, with my earlier project (TDA - the dark ages) i tried to cram as much detail in the lowest possible timeframe. so most songs were ½-2 mins long only. so its like time goes both faster and slower at once! quite confusing.