i want my legs back
instead of laying here

i want to shower 
5 times a day 
instead of once a week

i want to lay in my 
big bed with that 
big comfy blanket 
instead of the 
ugly one i got now

i want to go to the grocery 
store out of the blue 
and buy an icecream package 
and eat it all in a minute

i want to fall in love 
for a long time instead 
of porn and staff which 
only visit minutes at a time

i want so much 

and can do so little

but maybe i do a lot

almost all my fans are quiet

since i destroy all i love

except for bella

but ive gotten OCD about her

so thats also over

theres not

much left