i took coke once
just once
but as i was 
warned of later
pisces shouldnt do drugs
they should do water
anyway
then i was only one
since then
felt no reason to
care for others
had to heal myself
for months and months
mostly it was being social
to get back that need
for humans
pets have never 
been my forté
i still dream of
getting a goldhamster
but it is just a dream
at the last housing
cats visited me
and they smell WONDERFUL
a lot of my clothes
still smell cat
one of them used 
to pounce his head
into me
real gently
and its their heads 
that smell
its of musk
and WONDERS
anyway
i tried playing 
computer games again
before i tried to quit
runescape over and over
then runescape quit me
i was hacked
graphene hacked actually
but i got some friends
lost em
got em
then i found mirage online classic
its a real gimpy game
both in terms of balancing
and graphics
and the one single sound effect
but they have an admin
who does DAILY updates
so its amazing
and there people like me
as i understood
its poor people
like me
white trash
they can be real mean
like once a guy out of the blue
just said
ITS YOUR FAULT THE TWO TOWERS FELL
but i can handle that
im the other white meat
so whatever you do
dont take drugs
theyre not good for you
like tessan says
DONT TAKE DRUGS
YOURE NOT MISSING OUT
if your friends do drugs
theyre not real friends
just keep away from it
as long as possible
they get you high
and its great and all
but the fall isnt pretty
not many people 
talk about it
maybe
DRUGS DONT WORK
that song
remember it
but rock n roll culture
is so much about
fetishizing drugs
and all music
but i know
i know
you can get inspired
without drugs
but as i am taoist
i see everything as drugs
as an addiction
its better then
as i am now
to do multiple things
and you just get inspired
out of the blue
you write something
and it just happens
to be beautiful
now i am sofia more
shes down to earth
so its not cosmic
but i had to pay
a large price for it
often its satiate myself 
SO MUCH
that id often delete the work
when i was finished
or after awhile
like the darkhalo fansite
it was actually up in 2019
but good happened of it
he releazed his work on
youtube and spotify
and other channels
thats how it see it
being a taoist
im also a shintoist
sometimes you just have to 
think of changing something
and it changes
automagically
so whatever you do
think a lot
think things through
think of change
and change will happen
its that easy
you dont have to SCREAM
you dont have to WHINE
you dont have to be DILIGENT
just believe in yourself
and your powers
and be vary of your weaknesses
like having a 
joint with your mates
just dont do it
kids dont like seeing
their parents being weird
parents are supposed
to be stability
roots
and if the roots are in the sky
weird things happen
i dont really know
how i was affected
by my parents and 
family and friends
being alcohlized
and i realized with miss mom
that its worse to be an alcoholic
to be called that
than to be a racist
but everyones a liar
TRYING TO STEAL TIME
but im beyond that now
its calm
its ok
i had a really rough night
and raven hour
and wolf hour
and fox hour
but i finally fell asleep
and woke up ok
i havent smoked a single cig today
and its noon
i hope i can hold out forever
but you never know
i dont really dare doing anything
except be at this housing
since anything gives me anxiety
PLUS smells scents give me anxiety
its real weird
and city centres
and commutes
really reek
often you dont notice it
since youve walked there
and have your nose turned off
from the fresh air
and endorphines
id prefer ordering things to my home
and never exercising again
ive tried some weight lifting 
with my own body as weight
just doing different exercises
its hard
since i prefer entertaining my mind
as a pisces in the moon
im also taurus in the sun
the rising sign as capricorn
and 4x horse in misc signs
and a libra in pluto
bella once wept
that i only see libra as bad
and maybe i do
i dont like punishing people
but when you excibit
hawking radiation
and a million demons are attacking
youre whole being
its hard to not ruin things
ruin people
and i ruined people
i sucked out their energy
so id be a rock star
and now i have 1+ mil karma
whenever i say a number
or think or type
that karma on that weird
dead people listening site
gets increased
oh well
what can you do
cant believe in everything
but i die for my loved ones
like bella says
and my loved ones
are in the shadows
but they see
in alcoholized
and smoking
and drug visions
and create worlds too
music videos
like that bad habbits one
its about me
every single second
ida made it for me
if you sin in the fifth dimension
you get punished in the fifth dimension
and thus people have done music about me
you really should check out
idamos 
no psychosis
its part of an electro opera in 12 parts
dunno if she finished all of them
before shit hit the fan
highly recommended anyway
shes my biggest fan
and ive hardly cared for her
so here starts caring
shes an angel in hell
and im a demon in heaven
though shes beautiful and perfect
its only on the surface
like bella says
but i gotta mention her
i owe so much to her
that i took a joint
and beer with her mates
or theyd baseballed my knees
and i prefer having knees
anyway
ill stop here
i got inspired from 
all the darkness yesterday
260 lines oh my
the SOURCE connection got opened
and i got plenty of ether in me
well wishes anyone out there
that reads <3