i prayed until my hands shattered
i worked until my knees were no more
i looked for insight until i turned blind
i loved until i couldnt 
remember all my grandchildren
i drank until my stomache were no more
i ate until i vomited up all my fears
i feared until i became the darkness
i was dark until i exhibited light
i was light until i flew
i flew until i reached beyond the sun
i was a son until i met bella
when i met bella all my dreams
i didnt know of became true
i became true until i couldnt lie no more
i lied no more and i lived 
in light in andromeda
i told my mom to never visit me again
and i wrote no poems
i wrote this poem because 
i let mom unto my life again
i live again and i die again
i am no more normal
i am a freak
and i like it that way
i like it that way because 
i am a poet not a human
i do not believe in wellness
but i believe in wicca islam 
hinduism shintoism and taoism
i know that is too hard to understand
for feeble minds
but i am not one
even if i suffer oh i suffer
i tried my second suicide attempt
and am almost paralyzed everywhere
but i am cyberpunk now nothing else
i write to live i wrote when i die
i write and write and write
until there is only the word
and it shall not pass unforgotten
the clock says ive written for 5 minutes
i used to write for 5 hours
but that times is passed
i dont know much what 
my reason for living is
if it is not writing
and my mom inspires 
me with her presence
so i guess i love her the most
thats how its always been
and always will be
bella is #2 and tessan is #3
and rhiannon and
kirin is their ½'s
if i dont write i dont know what to do
that, and coffee, real strong
so it tastes like petrol
maybe i should change my addiction
as bella once said
"HAVE YOU INJECTED GASOLINE???"
no, but i made myself 
a great ole tatu yet again
thanks for reading
if you cared
and said none
like'd none
still liked
in the ether
and beyond pluto and lilith
tsofmia neptlith
tomas sofia
i go by
bye bye