hey tracey like i said if we met id like to pray with you, under a big oak? i know one its real old. its by the water close, aspen. theres flys on it during the summer sometime but its a real nice tree <3 write about trees please, about redwoods. what do they mean to you?

so this is odd indeed. i just couldnt fall asleep at the new housing. i tried it all. coffee cigarillos dip coffee. then i tried eventually to put on liquid drum and bass, loudly. and that did the trick. its now 1 o clock and i think i have to re-do it. this is odd. i think i only slept 2-3 hours. omg...... anyway. theres a 5g mast near. i just know it. i have basically anxiety 24/7. no matter how much drugs i take to make it better it just doesnt get better. not seeing people helps. so the nighttime is my favorite time. as i got divined, they said im controlled by the moon both physically and mentally, and im a pisces in the moon, and should stay away from drugs. well, sort of too late. they lower your frequency, so if you freak out all the time you wont freak out as much. theres of course more difficulties but ill get there. ill manage it. in other news, of course trump wont win the election. remember, they re-elected bush! who the hell voted for him?! anyway. well wishes miss dae <3 i suppose you dont have a 5g tower near out in nowhere where you live. but this is a family place, lots people want fast mobile internet. so. hey.... im debating asking for a training apartment. dunno if i could handle it though, and then they just kick you out on the streets. though, one person who works here i really connect to. so thats at least something good. and like i said, theyre sweethearts <3 theres both an internet connectivity in my apartment thingie, and a heater. i hear a low humm all the time like in the place i grew up in. the house is the same yellow too. weird. lets see when i fall asleep. i got anxiety from smoking, and now i have some dip in my mouth, and couldnt drink too much coffee because it ALSO gave me anxiety. this will be hell :( anyway ill get internet tomorrow hopefully up here and not just in the community place. then ill surf myself tired. and i need to exercise. i  tried some moving my arms for lack of better terms, but now they ache. anyway. exercise. important. how do you work out tracey? i mean you have to train every muscle group right? i now took hot cocoa too so now i god damn should fall asleep! >=) opened the window too. it "smells" new here even, wood:ish. 2 o clock in the night now. im SO not tired. 5g 5g 5g. having the window open seems to change nothing. not more tired. not better air. microwave air pollution. so. took a 10 minute trip to the city centre / train commute. i now get anxiety from strong smells. so i got anxiety before even getting there. i cant quit smoking since then my internet doesnt work. and im hopelessly addicted too. so. hey. hell on earth. welcome. lesse if i fall asleep now. have done everything right. oh. funny story. i went in some deep snow and my shoes loosened. that got cold. geez. anyway ^___^ <<< oooh, happy cat! talked some to rhiannon and kirin telepathically. they said if i like praying i should do it. about it. then i stopped praying. i get tired of everything..... anyway when miss neighbour and i had sex she prayed. quite unusual. but hey. it was good. i love her. i love so many people. only more space for love <3 like that old riddle. what gets more the more you take from it? not the hole, its love. <3

oh. 3 o clock. not tired. not one bit. wrote something more. 

4 o clock. not tired. hanged up some clothing. i have a walk-in closet. its so luxurious here. it finally got better. and some clothes smell cat. its a wonderful smell <3

jag är lycklig.

5 o clock. sighing lots but not falling asleep. tried turning off comp but didnt work. have fapped twice today. the second time i just had an inexplicable boner so i had to wank after i showered. soon morning! ^_____^ the 5g radiation heals me.

8 o clock. have already been away. got my dose of humanity. soon ill have internet and itll be alright. when in tumba it felt like i had no emotions at all, just stale. but no anxiety, so this is actually better. dont need no drugs, dont need no meds. i still have that injection though. that reminds me, there was a skinny chick with the most amazing dragonfly eyes, i checked her out, she walked back and forth. then the commute was coming and i was coming and it was good.
