oh how

oh how i wish i could rest
oh how i wish i could be awake
now im both
i constantly want to rest
but i cant
i want to write 
a lot of things
but social media just 
leaves a distaste 
in my mouth
same for conspiracy sites
"its all the jews fault"
no its everyones fault
who ate all that at mcdonalds?
who bought all those iphones?
who ordered all that at amazon?
oh how i wish i 
could be horny again
oh how i wish i 
didnt get so horny
when i do get turned on
oh how i wish i could live 
for only posting some emojis
oh how i wish people 
really talked to 
eachother online
oh how i love all this 
music thanks to 
youtubes algorithm
oh how i wish i could 
make music again
oh how i love making AI art
oh how i long for 
photoshopping for 
5 hours again
oh how i love all the 
authors and poets 
on social media
oh how i wish i could
publish my latest book
oh how its been 1½ year
since it was finished
oh how i wish for bella back
oh how i love her so much still
oh how i wish this beautiful 
society could go on
oh how i dread agenda 2030
oh how i was stupid to 
take 2 corona vaccines
oh how the nanochip 
healed me after awhile
oh how i wish i could 
fall in love again
oh how i felt 
love some day ago
oh but she was married
oh how i wish i didnt ruin my body
oh how i wish i hadnt 
wasted my years on computer games
oh how amazing people 
i met in runescape
oh how i wish i had 
the energy to play MMORPGs again
oh how i long to be 
back at fountain house
oh how i miss fountain 
houses heart xhyljeta there
oh how i miss so many people
ive met and loved and talked to
oh how i only talk to nurses now
which is near zero conversation
oh how i wish i didnt 
have oxytocin defiency
oh how i love my 
cold black coffee
oh how i long for the times 
when i didnt need 
coffee as a painkiller
oh how i also take 
12 pills per day
against many ailments
oh how i miss walking in forests
close to the beach
oh how i miss söder and SOFO
oh how i miss people
but they are alive in me
in my writings
oh how i wish i could 
write 4 poems a day again
oh how i write much less
oh but maybe its better
oh how its maybe better this way
maybe its better this way
better this way
this way...