its over
ok
complicated
i dont expect anyone to understand.
i take dip to remove ocd
that is
obsessive compulsive thoughts.
these thoughts change the world
just how it is
the problem is
if i have dip in my mouth 
when i take all those neuroleptics
which i am forced into
it changes how they work
if they work at all then
now i was given 2 morphine pills
against the pain in my arms
but its been like over 2 hours
and nothing happened
i fixed this when i lived at home
by spitting out the dip beforehand
but i cant really explain to each nurse every time
and besides
id use too much dip
and i have almost no money at all
this is what its like to die
this is what its like to decay
this is what its like to be neglected
this is what its like to be taken advantage of
anxiety feels like rape to me
rape
rape
and this physical pain
fibromyalgia
is worse
but i know its because 
of the choices 
ive made through life
people out there
make the right choices
dont fuck up over and over again
and think that life doesnt have consequences
it will come and bite you back one day
this isnt about religion or morality
everyone believes in karma right
so do the right thing
think the right thoughts
because as you get old
youll only have 
your mistakes 
to think about