so. this is some 30 poems i wrote to bella. from july the first 2019 to spring 2020. there happened a lot more poems. many are lost. but they are in bellas heart. when i entered the poems into svenskadikter https://svenskadikter.com/För_att_jag_älskar_dig,_because_I_love_you i crashed the server. just how things are. so all poems arent there. not for me at least. hope you enjoy. i dont seek neat comments from this, will only get a kneejerk reaction most surely. but i have my fans. this is for you <3 theres coming a la belle epoque part 2. called "efter dig", after you, only written after bella left me. but i love her so much anyway. so it doesnt really matter. jag älskar dig bella! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

NEVER

i will never ask anything of you
i will never put up any demands

i will never abandon you
i will never question you
i will never tell on you

i will never complain
i will never bitch

but you're my
polar opposite

BELLA ELEMENT

you're as cool
as an icecube

i want to lick
you until you melt
onto the floor

you're as beautiful
as an ice sculpture

you're as smooth
as a summer's wind

you're as important
to me as oxygen

you're as
passionate

as a barnfire
when you're with me

it's as if the whole
house is on fire

an orgasm with you is
like an earthquake

to come with you
is like walking
barefoot in
whipped cream

to be
your lover
is so wonderful

because you make
all my near
and dear ones

stick together

get in touch with me

and find their
twinflame again

.

BELLA'S FREEDOM

bella's free in the shower

bella's free in the daydream

bella's free in the lovemaking

that's why i love her

.

NOTHING IS EVER WASTED

nothing is wasted about you
or with you or on you
gabriella therese irace
all love, all experience
all chocolate, all restaurants
all poetry, all photos of us in love
all tatatus, all emotions
all music, which is now on spotify
all photoshops, all hearts
everything
for you are love
in its purest form
the passionate anger
&
and the heat from the lovemaking
and everything inbetween

.

BEYOND OR EQUAL TO

what's more beautiful than a black hole?

a neutron star

what's more beautiful than that?

a black hole combined with a neutron star

what could possibly be more beautiful than that?

..the sound of the spheres

.

WHAT IS BETTER THAN
what's better than looking into someone's eyes
what's better than kissing for seconds
what's better than hugging for minutes
what's better than showering for hours
what's better than dreaming for days
what's better than being married for decades
what's better than one love echoing for ages
what's better than caring about someone forever


.

THERE ARE THOSE WHO

there are those who live by the day
they're called god's children

there are those who live from the night
they're called hecate's followers

there are those who live from the day
they're called fakirs

there are those who live under the earth
they're called aquarius

there are those who die by the weak
they're called women

there are those who live for others
they're called men

there are those who get
anything they ever wanted
they're called children

there are those who live
there are those who live
there are those who live
and then there are those who die

there are those among us who live life
then there are those among us who die death

then there those among us who fly
they are called three dimensional beings

there are those of us who
can only feel love or hate

they are called one dimensional beings
there are those things called books
they are ½ dimensional beings

there are those among us who talk
then there are those among us who read

there are those among us who live for the light
the there are those among
who live for the darkness

there are also those among us
who live for the light & dark
they are called multi dimensional beings

.

THERE IS A WORD

there is a word more powerful than God

there is a word more powerful than Soul

there is a word more powerful than OM

there is more powerful word

it's called

Love

.

IT IS CALLED

It’s only like that in your world
Because your world
Is your world
Is your world
It’s possible
to be reincarnated
It’s called
Infinite love
Instead of nitroglycerinous ego laser
It’s called sacrifice
Instead of hamstering
It’s called need
Instead of feed
It’s called insight
Instead of clownism
It’s called. . .
It has no name
It’s beyond anything
You ever thought you’d comprehend
The answer isn’t in yourself
Nor in others
It’s only in the one
Which really means something
Happy hunting!
Though. . .
It’s not easy
And it’s not collectible
But when you do find your
Heart
Everything you’ve ever learned
Everything that’s ever happened in your life
And everything you can fathom
And create and understand
Will come to pass

.

IT IS OVER

there's nothing left
in your perfect relationship
the wind has faltered
there are no
storms anymore
the fire has snuffed
there are no volcanic
eruptions anymore
the earth has dried
there are no more
earthquakes
the water
has evaporated
there are no
tsunamis
anymore
the screen has fizzed
it's only noise these days
the ears are deaf
there's nothing you
can say anymore
the eyes only
see darkness
there's nothing
beautiful
about
you
the noze is clogged
i have no need of your
shampoos & perfumes
the kinetic sense is desensitized
none of your kisses
can bring me back to life
the heart doesn't
beat for you
or anyone else
or even myself
the feet aren't moving
i'm chained in your
infinite torture
the hands don't
make any patterns
the ballads are over
it's over
it's over
it's over

.

YOU CAN'T STOP (US)

you can't stop a tear from falling
you can't stop a hand that's beaten
you can't stop a cat from cozying
you can't stop a mouth from kissing
you can't stop a dick from being an asshole
you can't stop a cunt from being a pussy
you can't stop a recurrent dream
you can't stop true love
you can't stop hands which are held together
you can't stop people from hugging
you can't stop a brotherhood
you can't stop an bitter woman's vengeance
you can't stop a cock from rising
you can't stop gang stalking
you can't stop the world from ending
you can't stop the expansion of the universe
you can't stop idiots from being stupid
you can't stop development
you can't stop the stockmarket
you can't stop bombs from falling
you can't stop guns from reloading
you can't stop a pregnant woman from loving
you can't stop foal from standing up
you can't stop a revolution
you can't stop a duck from quacking
you can't stop a unicorn from being true
you can't stop an loser from lying to himself
you can't stop a smiling woman
from turning even more beautiful
you can't stop tomas and bella
you can't stop love
you can't stop sexuality
you can't stop creativity
you can't stop inspiration
you can't stop the music from playing
you can't stop a player from playing
you can't stop a geek from engineering
you can't stop dramaqueers from acting over
you can't stop tweens from wearing a bra
you can't stop beauties from putting on makeup
you can't stop girls from hating themselves
you can't stop homo sapiens from treating women badly
you can't stop me
you can't stop you
you can't stop anyone
you can't stop life from living
you can't stop death from dying
you can't stop deathrows from frying
you can't stop limbos from stopping the clock
you can't stop ghosts from haunting
you can't stop children from exploring
you can't stop babies from being born
you can't stop the people
you can't stop 5g
you can't stop corona
you can't stop the quarantine
you can't stop a mother from
taking care of her
near and dear ones
you can't stop dads
from protecting their
family and country
you can't stop sisters
from comforting eachother
you can't stop brothers
from beating up eachother
you can't stop widows from crying
you can't stop mistreated ones to forgive
you can't stop teenagers from being horny
you can't stop the water from having boats
you can't stop the spoon from bending
you can't stop attenionwhores from selling out
you can't stop photoshop from making pretty colours
you can't stop art from becoming even more expensive
you can't stop ableton from becoming even more modular
you can't stop me from loving you
you can't stop a promise on the ringfinger
you can't stop rich folks from buying sex
you can't stop newspapers from selling less
you can't stop lex maria
you can't stop petter from releasing more wine and records
you can't stop parties and fuckbuddies
you can't stop an itching junkie
you can't stop bella from wondering, you just can't
you can't stop tomas from creating
you can't stop copycats from showing no sense of originality
you can't stop a cat meme from spreading
you can't stop you can't stop genetically
modified disease like HIV and corona
you can't stop a bassist from hearing low tones
you can't stop a deaf girl from making moans
you can't stop poker players from taking SMS loans
you can't stop kids from holding the hands of their mums
you can't stop a comedian from dropping puns
you can't stop a fatty from farting
you can't stop a 800 meter runner from darting
you can't stop a cake from tarting
you can't stop solvents from missing that impossible stain
you can't stop geniuses from using their brains
you can't stop a mainframe from connecting the mains
you can't stop commuters from trains
you can't stop perverts from turning on to small asses and plains
you can't stop lovers from using their hearts
you can't stop the least and the most
you can't stop a talk-show host
you can't stop vaginas from getting moist
you can't stop elevators to hoist
you can't stop saliva from dripping
you can't stop rich guys from pimping
you can't stop a zit from popping
you can't stop a big papas caring
you can't stop me staring at your avatar
you can't stop me loving you from afar
you can't stop me from being a pornstar
you can't stop bodybuilders from taking anabolic steroids
you can't stop asses from growing hemorroids
you can't stop the clone droids
you can't stop the whining bitchy paranoids
you can't stop alcoholics from drinking
you can't stop the brain from thinking
you can't stop the heart from feeling
you can't stop your ears from playing that shit song over and over
you can't stop me from looking for a four-leaf clover
you can't stop me from being your lover
you can't stop me from blossoming like a flower
you can't stop blacks from demanding more power
you can't stop me from a 2 hour steamy hot shower
you can't stop a 12 year old from being a grower
you can't stop an addict from dropping even lower
you can't stop the pisa from being a slanted tower
you can't stop henry from being a hiphop battle bowers
you can't stop max peezays masterful discography
you can't stop artists from selling out
you can't stop consumers from shelling out
you can't stop fish from smelling like a trout
you can't stop salmons from being pink
you can't stop poets from slinging ink
you can't stop muhammad ali from protesting the vietnam war
you can't stop stupid guys from calling their ex a whore
you can't stop a boring guy from being a bore
you can't stop a sleepless person from hearing a snore
and you can't stop me from writing this poem
even if it's over 128 lines
and i'm feeling
just awesome
i feel fine

.

YOU ARE (EVERYTHING)

you are a firework of emotional energy
the world is dull without you

you are beautiful
the world is ugly without you

you are a sweetheart
the world is resentful without you

you are the sun
the world is cold without you

you are love
the world is desensitized without you

you are the moon
the world stops without you

you are the dinner
the world is gross without you

you are the day
the world is in constant darkness without you

you are a good night's sleep
the world is a nightmare without you

you are smudging
the world is evil without you

you are everything
the world is nothing without you

.

ELEGANT

you are most elegant
when you've showered
red gold in the skin

you are most elegant
when we've made love
red gold in your locks

you are most elegant
when we hug
red gold in the veins

you are most elegant
when you put
on your make up
red gold on the lips

you are most elegant
when you laugh
red gold on the cheeks

.

THATS WHY I LOVE YOU

i love you mostly
because you can handle me

then theres lots of bonuses too

you photoshop just as beautiful as me
in the colour of the rainbow
and the emotions
overdimensional spectra

you write amazing poetry
like my style but still your own
when you feel like it
i apologize for deleting them

and that i started smoking
to remove the suicidal tendencies
which almost wrecked
you and me and us
even if cigarettes
have lots of sideeffects

and even with all of this
you can manage
to be normal
stay calm
disagree
teach
give homework
to love
to forgive
to move on

which youve done with me
which is the reason im writing now
because of
because
for me
theres just trauma and yearning
and the part of all ive said
which is trauma to your head
i cant even imagine

and you dont yearn for me much anymore
eventhough i love you more for each day
for every lovely person i meet
for each second were apart

thats why i love you bella

.

FOR ALWAYS THE SWEETEST LOVE

after a long day at work
far away from my wife

i realized that, bella

i only want to love you
i only want to make love to you
i only want to be in love with you
i only want to be attracted to you

because what we have is true
and i never want to
jeopardize it again

and i want to spend
my entire life with you

no matter what
no matter what happens
no matter how little we chat per day
no matter how little we talk over the phone
no matter how little we meet in real life
no matter how often we fight and break up

no matter what
because i love you
just as much anyway
or even more

for every new
wonderful day
and night
and each fullmoon
and each ray of light in the window
and each chocolate bar
and every french fry with ketchup

and every time we call eachother pretty words
and each time we wish a good night
and each time we say good morning

and each time the sun
passes through another sign
for we are all the signs
because we are everything and nothing
together and apart

.

BECAUSE
I LOVE YOU
(PART 2)

i live for You
i'd die for You
Because i love You

.

BECAUSE
WE LOVE
EACHOTHER

because we love eachother
we're always on the other's side
because we love eachother
it feels like we constantly
make a fool of ourselves
because we love eachother
we kiss to make it better
in front of other people
because we love eachother
we feel so lucky to have this
revelation follow us through life
because we love eachother
we're always there when the other one is
in the dirt and give them a shower and a BJ
because we love eachother
we're creative in our own peculiar
way and fill up the other one with
light and joy and butterflies
because we love eachother
we break up often because our energies
are so strong together and there's
many that want to break that spell
because we love eachother
the one thinks the other love the first
one more but it's not like that with true
love it's all equalized over time when
we're finally on all the planes we inhibit
because we love eachother
we're constantly jealous and green eyed
because the other part is smoking hot in their
own way and crazy talented at their own game

.

FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME

bella gets a tatatu in my name
i listen to melissa horn's
and lars winnerbäck's latest records
and cry over the patriarchy
for the first time
for the first time
for the first time
for the very first time

.

ENGAGEMENT
i will have the
ring on my finger
since the first time
it is in my hands
until i die
if i get allergy from it
i will carry it anyway
if i get epilepsy from it
so i bite off my tongue
i will carry it anyway
i will carry it until i die
and if i die with it on
well, i will carry it anyway
i will carry it until it is stolen
and if i gets stolen, i still have
a tatu-ring beneath
which i carry anyway
i will carry it with pride
for all our love
since the first time i saw you
since the first of july
since the first poem i wrote about you
since the first time we made love
because i love you

.

ATONEMENT

- i'm sorry i raped you

- i'm sorry i raped you

.

BROUGHT US
BACK TO LIFE

the sun brought us back to life
the earth brought us back to life
the air brought us back to life
the rain brought us back to life
the mother brought us back to life
the father brought us back to life
bella brought us back to life

.

TRULY GENUINE

if you were happy once
then you've lost something

if you're forlorn
then you haven't understood

if you've gained insight
then you're forgiven

if you forgive
then you're capable of loving

if you're caring
then your hate has ceased

if you've got compassion
then you've looked into someone's soul

if you didn't step back
then you understand what love is

if you trust them
then you've sacrificed yourself

if you've lost something you hold dear
then you've got something that lasts

if you care about gaining instead of acquiring
then there's a new start

if it's what you've always dreamed about
then maybe you'll some day gain genuine happiness

may be
some day

genuine joy
some day

may be
some day

something genuine
?

.

BEFORE

look into my eyes
before i go blind
insult me with a single word
and you'll never get a chance
gossip about me
because i hear it all
kiss me on the neck
before i turn on you
envelope me
before i'm pregnant
dine with me
what you've cooked
with finesse and
craftmanship
drink with me
to show your feelings
show your feelings
before it's too late
make love to me
before i wear my
wedding ring
be true to your tatatus
if you truly love me
promise to be by my side
when the world ends
find me in my next rebirth
and take my virginity

.

I WILL LIVE FOR YOU

i will live for you
in each thought
in each breathe
in each note
in each gaze
in each tear
in each smile
because you're always there
will always be
no matter what or whatnot
loneliness isn't there anymore
except when i'm careless with your heart
it feels like my lifeforce is sucked out of me
and i can't do anything except trying to sleep
but then we're together again
and there's nothing better
except when you're here in three
dimensions and five senses
i love you i love you i love you i love you
gabriella my japanese tsunami butterfly girl

.

THIS IS
HOW MUCH
I LOVE YOU

this is
how much
i love you

like all the
laughters in
the entire world

this is
how much
i love you

like
everyones
desire for
proximity

this is
how much
i love you

like all parents protective
spirit for their children

this is
how much
i love you

like every tree huggers
longing for their pets

this is
how much
i love you

like the whole equators 23 ping
latency with fiber optic cables

this is
how much
i love you

like death row prisoners
longing for freedom

this is
how much
i love you

like the love
at first sight
that you dream
of every day

this is
how much
i love you

like the loved one
you never see anymore
but can never stop
writing ballads about

this is
how much
i love you

like the
failed love
which causes
blues

this is
how much
i love you

like the all
encompassing
RIAA library

this is
how much
i love you

like youtubes
entire video
archive

this is
how much
i love you

like every twin flame
in the whole fractaverse

this is
how much
i love you

like every womans
desire to be mothers

this is
how much
i love you

like every
males desire
to be fathers

this is
how much
i love you

like every
brothers desire
to have someone to
share the laughter with

this is
how much
i love you

like every
sisters
desire
to have
someone
to cry to

this is
how much
i love you

like all the
best friends
togetherness

this is
how much
i love you
.
this is
.
how much
.
i love you

.

I AM A LIGHTWORKER

forces of darkness, forces of lightness
forces of lies, forces of truth
forces of science, forces of nature
forces of music, forces of discord
forces of love, forces of gravity wells
forces for forces, forces of force
forces of vision, forces of clouds
forces of divine, forces of swine
forces of revenge, forces of angels
forces of corruption, forces of honor
forcef of humor, forces of sincerity
forces of play, forces of sobriety
forces of divinity, forces of dirt
forces of potency, forces of crosses
forces of permanence, forces of running
forces of treasures, forces of freedom
forces of indulgence, forces of loss
forces of catastrophe, forces of miracles
forces of synchronicity, forces of anarchy
forces of reconciliation, forces of war
forces of birth, forces of necromancy
force of nåider, forces of liars
forces of eagles, forces of turtles
forces of dolphins, forces of whales
forces of phoenixes, forces of dragonflies
forces of vision, forces of closed eyes
i am a lightworker

.

(autotranslated)

I AM THE DESERT ROSES' LONGING

I am the changes of the seasons

i am the earth

I am the lakes

i am the sun

I am the planets

i am fifty-one parallel universes changing
as often as every revolution of all millionaires
wish Christmas gift 2020 in the form of optical lattice watches

I am the repressed anger that
eventually creating earthquakes

I'm the 200db radar stranding blue whales

I am the tsunami of love

I'm a millennial of millennials

i'm beyond the neons
antigravity plasma beauty

i am neo sapiens
winning synchronicity
at casino gambling with
the collected decks of all the earth

I am the honorable kamikaze
which overthrows the throne of the Western world
from 500 years of oppression

i am the power of the world's combined karmic GDP
in the form of neuroleptic blockades
for half a century
which is triggered
in the post apocalypse

I am unconditional love
and the endless chaos
from ego death

i am the cyber prophet
in each unique sentence answer
at 10,000 words per minute
with 1000 arms 100 fingers each
to a billion humanoid souls [de]crypted
with a universe-spanning quantum computer
as only the maturity of genuine
diamond wedding can begin to understand

I am the beauty of being
an jante alcoholic
works for the system
Monday all week
svensson

I am the resolution
of the kundalini wand's 40+
(transcendental|sub)
chakra blockages

I am the infinite guinea pig
that everyone should kick on
which returns 100:1
against right-wing TV cliché lies
with truth in subspace
directly connected to the ultimate
99.99% Distilled Akashic
remember the truth

I am the world's total carbon dioxide
which once upon a time was the world tree

i'm billion
year's evolution
of blue flyers

I am who you are and were
and will always be there

i am the winner and the loser
in every battle with the name of love

I am the search for
second part in yinyang then
big bang and which were now brought together

.

I WISH I COULD GET YOU

i wish i could get you to understand
that i don't want to be cussed out all the time

i wish i could get you to understand
that i want you to keep the baby

i wish i could get you to understand
that i love your art

i wish i could get you to understand
how much i love you

i wish i could get you to understand
that the ring means everything to me

i wish i could get you to understand
that i need friends too

i wish i could get you to understand
i wish i could get you to understand
i wish i could get you to understand