so i tried to off myself again
has been 8 years 
since the last time
but ive thought about suicide 
since i was 11 years old
when i started to get bullied
when dad wanted to teach 
me a lesson in mathematics
anyway
what does that mean?
both my bloodsister 
that i know the most
and my dad
drank and drink a lot
my mom is a dumb blonde
without the big tits
and im proud of her for that
shes completely unphased by politics
and im proud of her for that
so i will live a long time
my dad lived until he 
was 66/67 years
and i guess sara 
will live long
hey
both charles bukowski 
and timothy leary
died in their 70s
i guess my mom meant
i am a water being
like her
shes a flower hippie
sara likes walking a lot
and biking a lot
just like her guy
which shes just 
broke up with 
they had been togethter
so tight-knit
since 1997
and strangely enough
at the housing
and also several years earlier
theres been a guy whos the same sign
as sara and fredrik
GEMINI
i just figured it out from his personality
some probably see him as stupid
since hes latino
with an accent
and he always thinks things through
i remember telling sara a few time
REMEMBER WHEN
with a big smile on my face
she goes quiet
remininscing
her vision turning 
darker and darker
and then a few secs later 
she says in a 
concentrated tone
"no i dont"
no matter what
i love you sara
i love the entire world
the bright side 
of borderline