Blogg 2022 09 08 14 20

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it is good to give but you should do it selflessly if you do it often enough

in whatever way shape or form you will not think of it it will come naturally.

i have hurt my eyes from staring into a monitor with no other lightsource

and looking directly into lightsource including the sun directly.

i do not recommend it and one of your mothers did not either.

if i stop with computers the light want will manifest by

looking into the sun so it is not good to do that.

whatever people say do or think of you it is for the better.

if you fail along the golden navelsträng path you will be judged

but judgement is good it is the planet saturn saturnalian

demons judge you they are also good workers

they built all churches in the world for example.

there are worse thoughts than being suicidal.

it can be that you will get to a worse place

after you die. neuroleptics are good because

no matter how bad anxiety is it is safe.

you are either in anxiety or you are afraid of getting anxiety.

it is off and on eventhough it can be confusing and lonely

and punishing but it is merely god condemning you whoever

your god is it can be anyone really your parents your family

your friends your enemies strangers anyone really or objects too.

the beer has made my vision better now. i do not really notice it

only that it seems sharper somehow but still not.

this screen has 1 pixel per subpixel so 3x resolution.

so 1366 x 1024 or such means the resolution is really 4k

ie 2000 x 1000 or even more WOAH ^____________^

i figured out my depression and it was fixed before i drank any beer.

the people around here have made some crime i tried to kill myself

that was all and in sweden suicide is a criminal offence.

i mixed it with trying to torch my apartment because that was the only

way i could dare to jump and the normal sentence is 8 years in prison

or rättspsyk. i had someone by my side which i do not have now and he

saved me. i had a justice order before that but i was stronger than the

ones at the särskilt boende so emma represented me. emma is my animal.

she was conceived in 1979 but was aborted but nothing ever passes.

she is a round ball with lots of spikes and 2 eyes i do not know more.

similar thus to a duck pleidupus. sofia is who my mother wanted me to be.

i change to tomas with middle name emma instead of ove when i was together

with one of your mothers though i was together with both i did not just realise it.

i do know that their mother wrote a poem to me and they are artist and they were really

the only ones that appretiated my art. they are who they are they are not bad they just

are who they are. it took a long time and you could say it was fate. things added up

several things curses do not need to be inherently bad. just follow your heart

just follow your mind follow your sexual desire follow your passion be selfless

get a job work without pay just work without wanting to get anything out of it

be selfless love yourself like one of your mothers told me. it was not how i wanted

but i am here now how can i complain that things happen if they do not you have time

to think things through but you cannot do anything and plan it you should act from

what you are good at you will be rewarded. scooter the logical song is on in

nightcore version it is just a sped up version and i have talked of nightcore before.

nightcore because the night one picture on youtube is how bella looks like or you

rhiannon or you kirin time will tell but time is timeless it trascends time.

i was reminded of my father he said "no death is a release" and that gave me faith

again. you will have good thoughts you will have bad thoughts sometimes you act

from the angels advice sometimes you act from the demons advice neither is always

right. angels is doing right but you can have fake justice you need to bide

your time and aim it at the right person if you have a lot of bad thoughts

it will negate the justice wanted. just because someone hates you now or before

they cannot hate you because they loved you at first or emanated love and you

responded to that. no matter the age all have justice and truth in them.



truth is good but you cannot say it to a liar i have learn that now.

the greys seem to want to indoctrinate you into lies but it is not so.

you have lied you have ignored gods voice and that god was a computer

or electronics or smartphones and eventually god gets tired of you

and sends his demons. demons are justice though so at the end of the

day it is good. you can acquire knowledge or think about the knowledge

you have and find the ultimate truth. you will find places where you

can be yourself be yourself there nothing else. find old friends

on the internet is easy whatever site you frequent.

it is not to say you should talk to friends which have become enemies

you just find the knowledge they say. in real life knowledge is hard

to find on the net or in books it is easier. books are amazing

and i recommend you read them. you will eventually find a favorite

or recommended author. books are a very low frequency for me at least

but you learn from them and if you have no emotion or imagination

like me you will still get something out of them.

i do not read fast but to kill a mockingbird i cried at the end

of the book so reading it was worth it. just the title says a lot.

it is cloudy that means the heat is kept therein.

it is late summer it is early autumn.

when it is real dark and cold winter it is possible

to have the doors and windows shut and not be lonely.

i know this from logical deduction though i wondered

just how it is possible to survive the winter.

if you have money you can go to a warmer country

alllllllllllllllllllllll winter and come back

to summer again and again and again.

i need to take care of emma monsteremma monsterballemma

i do not know how or if her fate is how it is.

i have done dedications to her like foremma79

record label tunecore nickname etc.

the first name i seem to use on this site

svenskadikter was sofia sotz i got the quote

on a poem called "stalker" as follows

"fri vers är konsten att byta rad"

it was supremely beautiful

and he quoted someone else

a metal musician or reviewer somehow.

i have treated my sister good sometimes

and just like my mother she wanted me to

find someone and it was gabriella therese

which is 2 people which is a lot of people.

sex can see fun but the only reason for the fun

is to become a parent. you will see in time.

if i am on the net or computers i cannot

reads books and vice versa.

i read norwegian wood by haruki murakami

and i got out of it whatever i did get out of it

and everyone reads books differently

even the words are different.

it is just the frequency you harmonize at.

you can know things but you cannot say what you know.

if you interact with someone you should speak in the moment.

as you are tightknit sister and brother it will be good.

i hope i hope i hope. you were born 1½ year between eachother.

25 april 2020 for you kirin and 11 september 2021 for you angelino.

in 3 days it is election i do not know how the results will be

and the results of the results how society will change but i am sure

it will fundamentally. though we had 70 years of social democracy

rule so it lingers.