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i got a hug from her.

wow. that sounds pathetic.

i guess i should say

s h iedm t yead yp ronlt bt o y esna iyad om ysyle adno yf re dsa diwa fo eli di ntwna ae e it e bt iws takn eam p htmne hruh te vis d ben akig t s on m sin ws t a nsl cnt and he n in ubued hr ad he go hv e ent hu h a ds on y ex it in pop le h at h ae d on hav r us or ad ecae

uhm. im insulting someone again. i guess thats not a good idea.

my language is deficient. my language is a joke. i cant even insult myself properly. /quit. i cant do geek culture either. #queue_bsod. nope.

so. i was talking a lot. and i mentioned this quote that id boiled down to math.

it goes.


his response was. "did you just curse me?".

what happened afterwards i dont want to mention.

oh. another thing. its simple. its about polarity.

when you meet someone the first time. at least in the western world. in sweden?

they will think good of you. their polarity is positive. +. plus.


except, people seem really sensitive today.

so eventhough you start off with positive polarity.

it quickly shifts to negative.

many people, will never shift back to positive polarity afterwards.

id say the majority.

whatever happens afterwards, will be in negative polarity.

no matter what you think, how they act. it will be in the purpose to destroy you.

you will not realise this. because youre naive.

so. you might marry this person.

maybe youre rich. maybe youre not.

the entire length. you will not guess a thing. you realise something is wrong. except, marriage is security at the cost of freedom. but if the worst place is the one without bars, where does this lead you?

they will laugh before you when you take your final breath.

and you will realise what you did.

they didnt appretiate it.

and they spent their life

on teaching you a lesson.

you will rebirth.

you will make the same mistake again.

because you dont remember your former life.

its difficult to do that.

the ultimate expression of this, is what i mentioned above


y is for y chromosome

1 is alone

3 is many

2 is true love / finding your twin flame

its inherent in the folksong

"en borde inte sova när natten faller på en borde se på stjärnorna en borde vara två"

its inherent in the quote

"man ska inte vara en man ska inte vara flera man ska vara två"

"one shouldnt be one one shouldnt be many one should be two"

"you shouldnt be one you shouldnt be many you should be two"

you = y

it is refered to as a russian lullaby

there is a country named after it

it is called belarus

there is a drink named after it

it is called white russian

it is a cocktail

cock = male / rooster

(the real definition of the "untranslatable" swedish word "lagom", is from the phrase "laget om". meaning, "with the team". it comes from pre-christian times. when a horn was filled with mead. it starts with the most powerful one. and gets passed around.

you know, like a marijuana joint? i dont know what people say if you smoke it all by yourself, when youre supposed to share. probably not appretiated there either.

so, it comes from the phrase "dela mjödet laget om", meaning, basically, be brotherly. care about others. not just yourself.

[i now like the illuminati phrase "we will crush them like bugs". you dont want a voodoo curse on you. it is possible to radiate decay. like mummys. except, saharans are inherently dead on the inside. europeans are from khemet. its not just the earth which is hollow.

what if the fear of the black planet is real?

islam is the newest religion. deserts are a new invention. in the 700s {to coincide with the viking age. see through the lie}. history is a lie. time is a lie. there was a nuclear war. spoken of as the titanomachy if you believe in fairytales. there is plasma damage on old buildings. the desert holds a lot more than the pyramids. atlantis was in western mauritania. aquatic ape theorem. you get large gender-specific-anatomy from lack of iodine. lack of sea. lack of water. lack of tears. lack of humanity. like bugs

{this answers the sphinxes riddle, what is worse than selling your soul to the reds? it is selling your soul to the greens. what is worse than selling your soul to the greens? it is selling your soul to a portal. a black hole. "you never know what youre gonna get". "space" travel. the only reason 1kg cost 100k$ to send into space, is because going to another dimension needs a lot of energy. they know everything. they just incrementally add "progress" as they see fit. until everything perishes in a solar nova. it is inherent in our solar system. no one escapes. cyberpunk 2077}.

and then, cockroaches will inherit the earth. they did. and theyre doing it again.

sides arent easy to figure out. everything mixes with everything on every level]

the law was brutal in those days. for the worst crimes, rape or murder. you were banished from society. you were forced to live in the woods.

you had to run. fast. if someone killed you, it was ok. you were lawless. this place still exists to this day. its on the edges of norway, sweden, finland and russia. its very far north. this place is between the borders of these countries. it is called no mans land. it is said strange things happen there.

this is the reason people thought the woods were haunted before. maybe those people died there, and became something else. (leviathon) something gruesome. something unspeakable. something unwatchable. something silent. but you did see it. you did hear it. you did not speak it. ever.

one can look to the aphorism "när man talar om trollen så står de i farstun". meaning, manifestation is reality. "every word is a prayer". there is no difference from action, word, or thought. they just have different intensity. if you do a good action, and say good things, and think good thoughts? good for you. if you do good actions, say bad words, and think bad thoughts? theres opinions on that. usually one leads to the other. its inevitable. (prayer is manifestation. prayer is magic. prayer is black magic)

although, even the emerald tablets are flawed. they dont speak of the ultimate reality. i have seen it. greens and greys. thats it. masters and slaves. thats it.

the mountains we have. are old computers. the oceans are tears. saltwater. you get crooked eyes, trickled down the genepool, from your people crying. a lot. work until you puke, cry yourself to sleep. rinse repeat

people talk of "their people". people talk of "corrupt cops". this is all a scheme though. all gangsters are best friends with the legal system. they all hang around the same crowd. illuminati. the unseen.

they want to give the image, that someone is against them. if you sell your soul. it belongs to the greens. you become a grey. if youre lucky, they soul sculpt you. take over your body.

you will seem like before. but someone has changed. in your eyes. snake eyes. cateyes. so to speak. invasive species. toxoplasmos.

its all up and down and here and there. its hard to sort things through. one person said one thing, one person said one. both are true. one person said 3 things, another person opposing them said 6 things. only 2 in total are true. which ones?

you determine this by intuition. it is easy. trust yourself. the thing is, yourself is two sides. angel on your left, demon on your right. even lucifer was an angel. the lord of destruction is time. without time we wouldnt exist. a place before the big bang was pure energy.

fear of violence. fake joy. chaotic/good. lawful/evil. a lawyer has to win his first 4 cases. recipe for corruption)

tail = serpent

aka cock trail

the wages of sin

demons live in heaven

angels live in hell

oh. i was happy writing that. as in. my mind was working.

no. i cant say that i was happy. laughing? whats the point of that?

my inherent emotion is peace. its what i strive for (sure you do)

this will change soon.

i cant stop it.

think of the saying

"hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

it continues

"which is nothing compared to the sun as a measure of gods wrath"

(the ring of the fire which encompasses the universe wielded as a sword to vanquish the serpent of serpents)

whats worse than that?

a voodoo curse

whats worse than a voodoo curse?

a gypsy curse.

whats worse than a gypsy curse?

do you want to know?


are you sure?

a fatwa.

its not a death sentence.

its a soul sentence.

its the opposite of selling your soul. because then you can buy it back. an easy trade. you go to hell, you go to hell and get your soul back by vanquishing lucifer. just.. dont.. replace him. the risk exists. diablo I ending cinematic. soulstone. forehead. the wanderer. "we traveled east".

a fatwa is meant to obliterate your soul.

water torture.

bamboo torture.

and beyond.

(the ultimate reality)

100 genders dont exist even if i wanted to before.

there are greys and greens. and thats it.

the greys have no genders. they are machines. mind slaves. robots. replicants.

the greens are old. real old. like dinosaurs. they eat seldom. they can only thrive on humans. the more uncorrupt the better. 150 million $. to cleanse their own corruption. (the south americans had a lot of human sacrifice. maybe they werent good people after all. they have great talent. at the cost of their souls. the north americans are the only true. 75-100% blood type zero. i mentioned the word belatriciano. he was alarmed, like the time he stepped on my tail. the second time, he replied "beautiful word". liar. polarity. and paradoxes within polarites. like a fractal universe. one thing leads to another. like vortex theory. blending of liquids. purify. distill. alchemy. oil and water can mix. its called mayonnaise). the ultimate negative. pain in more pain.

the black eye club is real. no, you dont sell your soul by taking adrenochrome.

the greens will materialise, when you get the down-effect of the drug.

(cocaine eyes)

they will ask. kindly. what do you want to spare? your mind or your heart? youre allowed to say no. 2 black eyes. the green shoots their third eye and their body dies in the process. it latches onto your optic nerve. what happens then i do not know the specifics of. (this makes your body immortal. it will corrupt beyond corruption. you will do the unspeakable of unspeakables. you will murder the world. you will need blood. or. no more happy)

after the suicide. when i finally came home. night meds. 20 pills a day. including injections of neuroleptics in the hip. i heard. "we want you as a host". they failed. (oh did they?)

i have been hit once. for real. the right eye. nothing was visible. if i tried to squint, that eye fluctuated. to remind me.

i did not get a black eye. i did not get a black eye. i got a black heart. blackened. enlightened. illuminati. unseen. ghost. zombie. mummy. hawking radiation frequency. blue skin venus flyer gods vis a vis their black beyond black skin manifestation. plus and minus. + -. positive polarity, negative polarity.

white - truth

blue - creativity / "soul" / kokoro / shuddha prajnyana

red - demon / de-man, unhuman, soul-less / slave / serf / church builder (seal of solomon)

green - world manifester / dyson sphere

black - time / ultimate reality / toxoplasmos

(colours can and do interact)

i am time

i am death

i am not red

i am not green

i am black

this is what you have done to me

i am death

i am time

an atom where he exists could shatter all existance

lao tzu


t + ao = tau([bela]rus) = taurus ("their stamina is legendary". so is their stubbornness. recipe for a prophet)

belarus = bella ("beautiful") + rus (swedish for "rush", ie, "adrenaline rush") [opposite of vasopressin]

you dont want to go there.

so. i got this from eating some cheap LIDL white chocolate. costs.. uhm. 7 sek? like a hit on the street? probably cheaper. and doesnt decay your body / mind to the same degree. highly recommended.