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ive written about this before. but, hey.. i dont care about looks, not one bit. what excites me is heat, skin. and.. uh.. most have that. i really wish makeup didnt exist. i used to be naive, and never realized when women used makeup.

i used to know this heavy drinker. i looked her up on facebook recently. yep, in her selfie she looks like a goddess. the thing is, the day after shes been drinking all night.. she doesnt look pretty. and really, most women in their 30s look like a fucking joke.

slam on 3 hours of makeup, and, hallelujah! its not men and its not beauty magazines and women dont feel ugly and its not the patriarchy. they want to have their cake and eat it too. drink smoke and do drugs like a fucking lunatic. by the time theyre 30, they look like 70.

im not sure how, but i found a certain womans pinterest. she had THIRTEEN THOUSAND pictures of "men" in various categories. the pic she took of me wasnt up there. it was all hunkmeisters. now, i counted, and if shes slept with 3 guys per day, every day, all the time, since she left her tweens, she would be up to 13000 now. still, yeah, she put on the image of being a virgin, a saint, a good muslim, etc. and, yep, she was the worst foul mouth in existance (at our job!). i havent really hung around in bars, so ive never really met people in their worst. i can assume its not fun though.

as for my ex, it was a trip. cant really explain things. one interesting part, is that she lent her (and mine) messenger / smartphone / passwords to all her friends and family (she had a lot). i thought i was good at handling frauds. but she and her ilk were on another level. i think at least 3 of her kin fell in love with me. and chatted with me, constantly. i write a lot, a lot. and she put on the image of not talking a lot, beyond a few words now and then, and emojis / memes. of course anyone she knew could imitate that.

and somehow, i have kids with both her and her sister. we took opium (and other things. hey, id never tried anything, not even coffee/tea). i just thought i was seeing double.

anyway, after that affair.. ive figured out how women work. so i hate every last one of them. ive already figured out how men work.. because im one of them. and i hate them too. not much left then. the neighborhood cat has started visiting me. is nice. just having someone that lies next to you in bed, someone who cares for you. i dont want words. just someone there. if i had a dog, id have an excuse to start excercising again.

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