Mirrorrorim

i dont get how anyone can really stand me being around. ever. my mouth is crooked. my eyes express nothing except lifelessness. i have no facial expression at all. i smile on my right side only. and i dont get the point of joy. or sex. it doesnt.. work. im not desensitized anymore. but i dont really....... notice any difference. and im evidently so fat i smile with my eyes like. a cat? no. i dont know. just two straight lines. as for the ones that see beyond that? its just uglier. im not a woman and i never will be. i cant pretend im not. i just dont know. i have really only met 1 woman like me. so i dont know where the others are which are like me which. i dont understand. as for doing drugs? how does it matter? if you do something good? uhm. its the results that count? i got a tatu and people stopped calling me a vegetarian? great. then what? they think its a swastika. theres a really horrible swedish word. i dont want to think it. i dont want to hear it. ever. i guess theres some rappers which might have used the american equilant? i dont.. really know of any though. the second time i heard something from my ex sister. it was that. hora. it.. didnt really do anything to me though. and she had confused me with someone else? lol. ok. so im a artwhore? uh. ok? i didnt know that?comfort isnt something good. not in my world. not for me. i had that somehow before? and..? no. if life is cold and hard and heartless and not fair? compared to what? i had this question since the 90s. whats worse rape or death? i know now. maybe. as for eating disorders? i dont see how they could be.. disorders? the women i know of who have that. uhm. they have good discipline. they might be confusing. but theyre still for real. i am embarassing. thats about it. hey tracey. i found your number. i added it to my phone. but you decide. thats how it works. and you said no. miss mermaid also did. and she wanted to be protected. i couldnt do that. miss ex. well. i dunno. she could take care of herself. and she wanted me and got me and thats it. the psychiatric system seems to be to me to use reverse psychology. like a mix between islam and modern american culture. thats about it. i made an album called that. but it was just a title. it had nothing to do with the music. miss mermaid doesnt haunt me anymore. neither miss mom (keep telling yourself that). but dad does. i guess. he didnt. last year. but then i couldnt fall asleep unless i had another entity in my room. and a cat visited one day. it was sweet. it wont repeat. like everything. theres a lot on the internet. i dont really care for anything of it though. i dont have exabyte flow. i barely have 1 bit per second input. and as for my memory storage capacity (and retrieval)? it is very flaky. hey. i knew 2 african black women who are like that. i dont know how all this makes sense. again. i dont see the point of complaining. you find it fun with your stoned friends....... ok? i now got the phrase "you must have confused me with someone else". ok. that song. i dont get much of anything. as for the radio show? i cant really listen to old shows anymore. and i made a greatest hits of it. and its still available. as for all my performances there? maybe some have heard it. who arent artistic. and its.. something, to them? as for sex. its stupid. for guys. at least. and women know that. so i dont know whos to blame for it. hey, rape in marriage is outlawed. so is childlabour. progress! as for abortion? its just a technology. its no big deal. it shouldnt be an issue or anything. maybe. i used to switch between swedish and english here. thats why you gave me that dream. i dont really know of any others and other dreams who have done that. i havent decyphered any other dreams. anyway. its time to move on. anyway. i wont visit you. i could do it if im desperate enough. except you need an international passport. and it wont work if i get one. definately not. my world is like that. reverse psychology. like being ironic. happy and sad. and sad and happy. hey. if it was easy what would be the point? i have never met anyone more amazing than my sister. as for miss mom? shes the same polarity as me. so it doesnt work. and my sis is 1 starsign away from me. so it would work. but it wont. we know everything about eachother. so it doesnt really matter. she affects me and has since before i was born. if i affect her? great. i dont know how though. she just seems to be really worried about me. i guess thats a motherly trait. and she was mean before. (but everything works out for the better so how does it matter?) a fatherly trait is also taking care of people. so the genders are about the same. i heard its called likvärdesfeminist. i dont know if i remember the wording correctly. our produce said it. shes clever. shes a pig and a horse and a snake and an aries. and she used to be herself and didnt get the appretiation that she deserved. maybe. i dont know her. i dont know you either. i made a song about that. its called traces in regards to moontime. maybe youve heard it. i cant really listen to people that i know anything ofs music. if i have a negative memory it doesnt work anymore. the spell is broken. so. i sound like an american boss? well. i am. so no problem there. gotta play your part. i write really complex. thanks for telling me that. its called stream of conciousness after all. i made my first proper song in that style. its good. tells a real story. maybe other of my songs do? i dont really know. i dont remember a lot. and i dont know if i would want to change it. ive tried others lives. and. well.. it was.. boring? be yourself everyone else already exists. i like being sad and lonely. its an ox thing. you wouldnt understand. well. or you do. scorpios and oxes are the same thing. maybe. and its not possible to lie. miss ex asked me why i was crying about something from before? well. i like crying? shes a fraud and thats it. youd do a fab job in the snus industry. haha. should stop here. toodles or something. meow? oink? i asked this andean what.. the badger summoning word was? and he knew? lol. WEIRD!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ (M..O[n!]K)E^2Y?. right. makes PERFECT FUCKING SENSE. THERE YA GO. ^____^ när man inte talar om katterna så står de i farstun. heeeeeeeeey i wanna get moooooooooooooore tatuuuuuuuus. moo? amo? ^__^

varför är sorgen vacker?

och varför är glädjen ful?

och varför dör man bara

när man inte kan

ömsa mer hud..?

i wanna listen to music i wanna listen to music i wanna listen to music i wanna listen to music i wanna listen to music i wanna listen to music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (hey you know feedback loops are bad for you r r r r r rr rrr rrrright..?)

btw btw btw REAL IMPORTANT SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!! DONT PUT SQUARE ROOT OF ZERO INTO A MAINFRAMES BOOTSECTOR!!!!!!!!!!! THATS......... SOOOOOO NOT... un-un-recommended!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (why not? ^_________^) [especially not on a dyson spheres. {you never know what youre gonna get}]