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i have met 1 real christian, ever. now, sweden is supposed to be a secular country, but the old faith still reigns. that person happened to be involved with hillsong. against all odds, i went into it, one single time - but due to a misunderstanding, she didnt attend.

it was the day of the eucharist. i yawned all the way through their übercliched "rock" venture of several hours (it was basically worse than the schlagerfestival). then i was treated with a tiny cracker, and a miniscule amount of a red substance. i said i dont drink alcohol, and was assured it was merely grape juice. now, i have been long in the psychiatric system, and that drink tasted like neuroleptics. not soon thereafter, one women came up to me and tried to talk. since i was pretty turned off by the event, i ignored her. then another women, ignored her too. then this guy comes over, horny as hell, and tries to jump all over me. i wrestle him off and get the hell away from there. on my way home, i hear in my head "come back here". yep, they can customize substances that well.

anyway, that original woman was a healer. or in her own words: she just "channeled gods love". i went with her into a semi-normal church another time (greek orthodox, actually). eventhough all she did was sing along, and i looked at her a few times, i cried floods. after leaving early, since those wooden benches arent very comfortable, it felt like id been through both a massage and a yoga experience simultaneously. i was revitalized. it was amazing. larger than life.

now, if she just went to normal churches, studied the bible, and sang psalms, i wouldnt have a problem with christianity. but the fact that she delved in hillsong, makes me question it still. what did she pay for her powers? even sicker, a high profile person in the church, talked about teaching students through "stretching", yeah, you can figure out what that means by yourself. when i just got into the meeting, it was full of 20-30's age of people, not any older. real weird. then this crazy old man, the pastor, i guess, wanted to shake my hand, and gave me a real disgusting smile. i guess he was the supreme "stretcher", just like the main conspirator of jonestown. that guy slept with basically everyone in the whole church, man and woman. hillsong is similar in approach to queer diversity, and surely, in other ways as well.

as for all other swedes, who arent sapmi (the true indigenous swedes) or non-christian immigrants, who have been baptized (i havent), ive taken notice lately that they say swearwords way more than holy words (if, at all). so they all seem more like satanists than anything else. its after all called "curse" words. i have also, that i know most surely, been cursed by one of these pretend-christians. she wants me for herself, so when i finally got into a long-term relationship, i heard in my head "forget about your girlfriend", over and over. we were already shakey at that point, after 1,5 years, and soon the words in my head stopped, but by then, our relationship had ended as well.

in the words of the new millenia prophet felipe andres coronel, id wager that "the word of god is lost in the man". god is dead in the common populace, and only satan remains. we have put this upon ourselves. and quite sadly, the true believers are the least vocal. because they just live their life, theyre not trying to profit off of someone else, or achieve good standing. because the ultimate standing is with you, and yourself, only, and your connection to the cosmos.

i mean, think of it. you can lie to others, you can lie to yourself, you think you can even lie to god. but its just satan in gods image. and satan loves you no matter what, as long as you pledge allegiance and your soul to him. and ultimately, forfeit your humanity, thoughts and emotions. until you are part of the leviathon.

av Etletlien (ris och ros)

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