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Som sagt jag tänker inte så här längre. Jag förstår genom att skriva. Om det här kan hjälpa någon förstå sina rötter eller världen är den väl bra för någonting. Jag är suicidal. Jag har varit det sen jag var 11 år. Sen 1994. Det här skrevs för det fanns bara 1 enda person i hela världen jag inte tyckte om längre. Om många inte tycker om mig kan jag inte göra något åt det.

Söderläge

SÖDERLÄGE

so. this will be complicated to explain. to nonswedes. and to nonstockholmers. but they might already know about it. you see, i had this shit boss. so i managed to acquire her email address. and i expressed, over a long time, what was wrong with her leadership. she quit. she was a nice girl. she just sucked at her job.

then we got a new one. the problem is, hes from south stockholm. which hes not. you see, theres a big train commute station, which is called south stockholm (and we had another one, which was south of south of stockholm, and it was called "southern stockholm". this was confusing, especially to tourists. so they changed that. after many really important long meetings.

also, people proudly say theyre from "south of south". this isnt from that place though. it actually means "south of SOFO [and SOFO means, south of a particular street, in, you guessed it, south stockholm {is this meta enough for you? i guarantee, it will get more complicated. oh, i ran out of paranthesises. this happens. often}]).

but thats just 30 mins walk from central stockholm. south stockholm is a big place. i mean, i live there. but its out in the suburbs. my dad was from there. except, it wasnt called that, back in the days. it was called knife south. and to confuse matters further, their local dialect, was called south american. but it relates to south USA. and to confuse things further, this dialect isnt limited to southern innercity stockholm, or even the whole of stockholm. its not even limited to central sweden (which north of sweden calls themselves.. because, if you look at the map, central sweden is 1/3 down. except up there, its just snow. snow and ice. and nice sunsets. so its pretty north. like if north was upwards. and north is just snow. and ice. and mountains. with snow. and ice. and nice sunsets).

and for some reason, when i now had my second suspension, twitter figured out i live in sweden? and has to have horrible translations for the interface. anyway. after her, i met a whole lot of bosses. like, from the whole multinational business. most, i only met once. it was really confusing. they, like her, had only one objective. to crush my soul. my problem though, is that i make everyone fall to their knees, instantly. like this wolfmaster. when he just comes near any dog, they fall over, and pretend theyre dead. though, not that good, but almost.

i also smell like a corpse. or mummy, really. so it could be the same. when i have my despair (which i dont, anymore, except this coming autumn, maybe), my normal bodyheat (with plenty of natural corpse aromas) turns to hawking radiation. you know, the stuff black holes are made of? its not fun

(this could be the main reason

[except that i had this bestie for a long time, so i got stuck in bestie-reality {this is really bothersome. except the fact, that everyone wants me. they also only want me for themselves. i dunno. maybe everyone is like this. this means, if i like someone, everyone else, who also likes me, try to ruin our relationship. oh. and im an open diary. so everyone gets to know who i like. which is always several women. sort of. except, the one i really like, i have the pre-disposition, to mention, everyone ive ever liked everywhere, and in intense detail, tell her, how awesome those before were. that might be, why she left me for her ex, the second our first baby was born}]

why people say "lol u hav zer0 frNdz").

when i lived at home, my parents would then fight all the time. and neighbours got robbed. and stuff. it wasnt fun. when i lived above a mall, when i felt like that, people got murdered outside my window. now, i had it closed, but i could quite clearly hear them speaking their last word. or, well, "EUEEURURUGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!...........". wasnt fun. now im in a better neighborhood. and our apartments are really shielded. and each place has air conditioning. its nice.

anyway, ive met one prominent figure from knife south before. it took a long time, before i could poke a single hole in his immaculate character. you see, proper knife south figures, have great sense of humour, incredible discipline, they read a lot of books, are into and know a lot of sports, they have really nice art and music taste, and they do drugs like mad. oh, and knife south, is of course, a gang. or several, i guess? or just the way of properly speaking it, sort of tells, that they will fuck you up properly, usually said in quickly expelled creole, if you step out of line. or, as they said (this was also a murder threat), "knife south used to be called that, because it had a lot of tanners". except, tanner in swedish is called garvare. and garva is another word for LOL. so, if you were a clown, youd get a knife in your stomache quickly, back in the days

[or, like that old friend {yesss! i have ONE!!!!!} said, "laughers and smilers". i laugh a lot. and smile a lot. except, its all for show. like, how normies act like normies. but, theyre all deviants. and weird. and unique. they will never let it be known though. or, in extreme-extreme, leftist-speak, "blue ray undercovers"].

im not sure, but i guess, back in the days, the whole of south inner city stockholm was an extreme ghetto, one of the worst in the world. or not. it sucked a lot though. you dont meet many proper knifesouth people these days. they have mostly, been replaced by hipsters. the thing is though, my new boss, is a god damn knifesouth dude. and hes even better than another guy who works here. just like the other guy, i have found zero holes in his character. he fulfills all the requirements of a proper knife south dude.

now, knife south babes, are sort of, like all women. stupid, boring, and predictable. so i wont talk favourably about them. ive known a couple. and theyre sort of worse than the guys. somehow, they take even more drugs. and bump everything, everywhere. this makes them real stupid. and boring. and predictable. they could kill you, quite easily. you know, like a bear mom with cubs? except, theyre not knocked up (with your child, hopefully), they just want to sleep with everything in sight. so you become one of them. you know like, borg vampires? sort of.

anyway. the babes dont kill you, they prefer sending their gang on you, which is a large part of knifesouth. or used to be, at least. my ex sister threatened me with this once. i figured, this was because i had treated my ex badly? it was actually the opposite. both her mom and sis, i heard, from a friend of a friend recently, often gossiped, that i had "stolen" her. i didnt mean to, for real! just when we got together, my ex and i were eating at a real nice restaurant where i lived. she showered me with gifts. i dont know where she got all that money from, but, shes in a gang, and they accumulate a lot of dough. and she wanted to put in serious effort on me. so i guess her big family, financed this.

(this was the first time, i was introduced to the nickname "kunta kinte". did i mention, that they love saying the n-word, constantly, about everything and everyone? yep, my dad got called it left and right)

i think she put in like 10000 bucks (thats 1000$) over a few weeks. now, as we were getting full and satisfied (we call it pizzacoma). i didnt even know the place had this. i got to choose whatever i wanted. i took some nice whiskey, and this course, which had 4 different sorts of meats. it was nice. real nice. then, her sis calls. i tell my ex to hand over the phone. miss sis asked "who the fuck" i was? i said i protect miss ex. she hung up quickly.

then, a couple of days later, we were chilling at my place. i had borrowed her majorly expensive phone with neat plastic shell and trinkets, when, again, her sis wanted to tell me how great i was (not). so she sends an SMS, which basically said, "WHERE IS THAT WHORE??? IM GONNA KILL HIM!!!!!".

now, i asked about her sis behaviour later. this is modus operandi for her. and extreme knifesouth babes. the problem was, she wasnt from knife south, though she lived in central (2/3) sweden. this perplexed miss ex, that i knew her gang lingo (well, a low percentage of it). now ive figured out, this creole came about, a long long time ago. like, at least 1 millenium (i used this joke on a extreme-gangsta-immigrant-babe, she outputted plenty of lols. highly recommended. it rocks). i mean, my dad wasnt even born then!

in the late 40s, we had this music genre called rockabilly. and real pretty cars. you know, the only cars they have in cuba, still? it got cool to ride cars, and a whole subculture evolved around it. with its own lingo. thats where it comes from. not from knifesouth, though, like i said, they refined it a lot. now, miss ex reassured me that her sis really didnt want to kill me. for example, once, late at night, miss sis calls me up, like 20 times. i was really tired, but, finally, i figured it was in my best interest to answer.

i also noticed after our incredible nourishing conversation, that she had sent me a plethora of really angry SMSs too. so, she said, that i should completely stop bothering miss ex, and delete every single artpiece ive ever made about her (like, 50 photoshops, 200 poems, a dozen records, some books, drawings, and stuff), and never even mention their familys name again. ever. (including, thinking of it). or she would send her friends from the suburbs, for a surprise visit. and hug me, in a real friendly way. with their semi-automatics. up various entrances in my body. and stuff.

now, i was ready to pass out, so i couldnt really bother burning everything, and deleting all my art accounts online over lots of sites. so i figured i should at least wait until tomorrow. in the wolfhours, miss ex calls me up, and is like "OMG!!!!!!!!!! YOU LISTENED TO MY SIS??? WHY?!?!?!!!!!!". again, she tells me, that this is just how her family communicates. i mean, ive heard some gangsta rap talking about this, but, like they say, reality is more of a stranger than fiction.

and i didnt really think this shit went down in sweden. yeah, i know, you are majorly impressed by my rich creolian knowledge. uh. now i got bored of writing about this. i should continue later, except i wont. ill either forget it, or it will get lost in my exabyte stream, or i wont feel like it.

anyway. one of the many stories from my life. oh, and ive met this guy now. considering, because of my ex, i hate all women in existance, this is nice. he said, in his last email, that he wanted to "hear more" of my stories. and that ive completely changed his life around. and he ended it, with, "xoxo". nice. i guess?

and as for that new boss, i got pissed at one of my co-workers the other day. and wanted to crush her soul. by sending real good well-composed analytical emails to her, about, how much she sucks? then, i was like, nooooo, why not go for the boss directly? except, im scared shitless. if he wont just fire me directly, demote me to toilet-paper changer, or threaten me so much (with about 1-3 words, usually stuff ive said myself. these guys are like vaccines. proven effective [with plenty of bribes]. and really really safe [because theyre so good at getting rid of dissenters, theyre never seen again. as leon says, "im a cleaner"]. lol),

that i wont ever leave my apartment again, i dont know.

i dont think ill bother though. anyway. oh, and, after writing this. i feel really awesome. and clever. and funny. like a knife south dude?! except, after i started bothering people on twitter. i realized why people thought i was right wing IRL, like, always

(or, as a furry said "youre majorly creeping me out. youre trolling in a really weird way. not really alt-right, but more like.. center right? please. stop. now". except, how could you be.. center.. and.. right? wouldnt that be.. center, only? i mean, i realize, you cant pinpoint if i vote left or right [in sweden, we have dozens of political parties, might be why. i vote for different ones, every time. and, because of the red scare [STASI / KGB], here, you never, ever, mention what party you vote for].

its mostly like, redgreen vs the bluebrowns. yes, we have 2 dimensions of party allegiance. either youre left, and their party colours are red [majorly overweight, buttugly, lazy, lying, manipulative, free-rolling mongtards. you know, like rednecks and trailortrash? or as theyre called these days, social democrats],

or green [punks and solarpunks].

or, the right

[fascists, racists, nationalists, dumblondists {60-70% of the population is this, but, since theyre so dumb, they dont vote this way. the majority who vote for the racist party, are immigrants. i mean, they got saved, they dont want MORE losers like them here, right? they have become completely assimilated, after all, they all speak badly broken swedish, in their countrys own creole. and they all have kebab places, like.. everywhere. awesome!},

removealltaxists, fundamental orthodox christian nutters.. these people are basically all the same. theyre realized though, just voting on one right-wing party, doesnt give them enough ruling power. so they pretend, like they all have a different goal. they dont, though. and, all partys, left and right, answer the exact same thing, to any political question. i know, its weird. as a dane told me, guys these days, are, in his own words, "MANGINAS". we are the most feminist country in the world. except, guys see women not as sexobjects anymore. no, weve evolved a lot past that. now, theyre FUCKOBJECTS. much better]).

i have this really weird sense of humour. ive barely met anyone like it, ever. thankfully. im really witty. and clever. and make fun of people, without them getting anything. in really clever and funny and witty ways. they have no idea whats coming for them. you know, like big bang theory? though, not that good. oh, and that boss, bought my latest book. about.. my ex, obviously. he was majorly impressed. except, this was just a psyop. (i have strangely not seem him around since then).

also, when he started working here, he got a puppy! awwww. except, its a dobberman. i mean, its tiny and cute now. he takes it to work often. that wont be funny and cute, when its grown up. as always, theyre perfect chameleons. notepad.exe says this is 17k chars. i wonder how many mini-messages are needed to post this on twitter. i might break my current record. newlines are your friends. but they wont really help with triple-nested paranthesises. i once did like octo-paranthesises.

the woman i was corresponding with then, instantly stopped talking to me, deleted her website, got off the internet (similarly to kevin mitnick), and then i dont know more. this was odd though, because she once got one of her poems read on the radio, eventhough it was in sourcecode style. so she should have been able to handle that. i guess her 32-bit floating point address-load-handlers couldnt.. (pun intended) handle the html title address 32 bits per word load (im not sure that word-balance is correct in english. but im swedish. i mostly identify as catmeowian native speaker. does that mean im a furry in denial? nooooooooooooooo).

invest in a top of the line graphics card next time, ok? for the 5D render demands the visuals which my highly complex language structure creates in astral projection word-to-images reality, that is.

hey, this was fun to write. i think i invented a new style again, maybe? it took 3 hours to write, i think? yes, my daily essay stories means my cyberpunk life is boring. sure. did i mention i suck at lying? so this is 110% true. yep. maybe ^_^

(that reminds me, i forgot to sprinkle this with furry emojis. brb. [oh, i think i need to eat something {this super heavy user diet is working perfectly}, and air my apartment. in george floyds immortal words, "I. CANT. BREATHE"])

note: oh, i forgot. i know this incredible knife south woman. no ones like her. her trademark is saying "dont shout" while im talking my normal levels, which might be slightly over.. normal. if i reply anything back at all, she shouts at me. the wonders of wonderful wonderwomen-women.

av iamthealphaandtheomega (ris och ros)

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