Självbiografi försök 2 del 6
hi miss dae. i do not know who is wisest or who can see the most ahead. yes i finally realized what you said, i am not powerful.
i do not know how things connect on a bigger level, but everyone else seems to. to say it once again:
if you drink alone, you will learn more about misery
if you drink with others, you will learn more about people
your friend
she seemed interesting
until one point
she says she is good
i do not do that
i see others as good
again, people know this, but, hey..
pi might be infinite or not
what happens is that numbers come in pairs every now and then, in close proximity
if things play out like pi, sometimes unique events repeat closely related in time
you should be very wary when that happens
again, as i was told, that i seemed to have "thought thieves"
i do understand i can somehow interact with others
i woke up not long ago
and something seemed different?
but it often does
i understand how prophets write books
if i manage to write one i do not know
except prophets do not write books
their followers do
before, things that questioned a bold truth
were removed when they reached 1 million views
not a large part by todays standards
with many videos reaching 1000x that amount
my modus in interacting with people
is to impress them
so i went out the door
and near talked to someone
i did not act like a woman
like the one i have spoken like for some days
i have now realized people can pretend
they are someone else online
as for me
i did not like my ordinary name
and there was some movie
where a character had a lot
so i wanted to strive for that
i never truly figured out
how to impress you
i am not truly alive
nor is anyone else
people can pretend they are someone else in real life as well
i do not know how to interact with other people
if things played out as they should
i might have gotten a relationship in fourth grade
i cannot see how it would be good in any way
"thought thieves" again
quote
"our lives can seem empty and staged"
another
"life is a play we are unrehearsed"
i do not really understand shadowpoints
my own theory which i do not know if it is my own
like anything else supposedly true in my world
or of myself
shadowpoints might not be something good or bad
it is merely how many people you have affected
since i am in state which i cannot get out of
i see everyone as good, at least over time
i can remember a certain happenstance
someone tells me i should look up one of the bands he is in
i buy the album which has the most interesting art
i listen to it, and what i percieve
is the worst garbage ever
later he asked what i thought of it
i laughed in his face
i cannot remember if he expressed anything at all
i do not know if there is a better person than him
i have spoke greatly of his people before
the only reason i met him
is because fate wanted me to
knifesouth is the story of my father
i might have realized this before
but i understand things
through putting them down in writing
i do not need much input
and it does not help
because i cannot remember much
if i truly was normal and like the others
i cannot see how i would enjoy it
there is nothing special about artist or prophets
a fool tells in a thousand words
what the wise man says in one or none at all
because the fool thinks he is special
the wise man knows he is not
the fool thinks in luck
if he just continues hes dumbfoolery
somewhere down the line
something good will happen
the wise man is a warrior
he believes in cause and effect
he does not strive for anything
because he understands how things work
he has battled many things
it does not have to be others
or tangible things
i now realise how everything has been played out
this does not make me special
there have been 4 women i can recall who wanted to marry me
the first one told me a lot of guys
had approached her wanting to marry her
but she had turned them down
i do not know what would have happened to me
if modern technology was not there
i do not understand many things
the wise man knows it all
but does not say it
because it has no purpose
it is said the fool talks
the wise man works
i cannot tell if anything really is true
as you know and the rest
i tried battling a spirit
through using sourcecode
i cannot do this in real life
because my responses are too slow
online it does work
i do not know if i achieved anything with this
it is quite easy
to speak of one happenstance
things seem to freeze
for example comments or views on a video
this is not my fault in any way
so i figured this had to do with so to say with sourcecode
or rather the command
black magic pause
i cannot reverse this
my response is
white magic forward
now the commands might be "time" for both sides
everyone knows this
when i output
white magic forward
i get the error message "command not available newton time"
i could point to things i have heard
which correlates with this
you said so some years ago
you cannot change time
this is perpetuating newton time
since you do speak in riddles
it was not about that
and i did not impress you
with my so called facts in any way
if you affect a person you cannot reverse it
i guess that is what you meant
if you treat someone badly
there is no way to reverse it
if you treat someone well
there is no way to make it worse
though you can put in effort
to think you deserve the same treatment back
but it is not how humans work
again i am reminded of someone from long ago
i thought she was talented
that is all
i remember her haircolour
and looks somewhat
that is all
i can never recall hearing her speak
i do not know what she thinks of me
nor if she knows anything of me
it came to my attention recently
that geeks get bullied
when no one sees
if there truly is a counter
for good and bad actions
bullies do not have any bad karma
because like everything else
they have perfected the art
there is no reason to talk to anyone
in any way whatsoever
i know what my sister was like before i was born
i cannot get high like this again
and recieve more insights
because i cannot receieve insights
what she wants to happen will happen
i am not the alpha and the omega
she is
her starsign is gemini
she has the ability to change time
i thought libra was the most powerful
as they can see time
i was obviously introduced to someone
whos mother was the greatest librarian in a large country
she did die of a blod clot
but before then
she could read 2 books at once
if the library had say 100 000 books
she had read them all
every single word
and saw the book from many angles
you are not supposed to give anything to people
they ask you and you give
not a lot but what is needed
if that person was a libra or gemini i do not know
no one really listens to any of my advice
(her daughter inherited a lot of money i suppose
she used to get technology
she said that she tried to work out a lot
but damaged her knee
i said this was in relation to using electronics
and she should stop
she did not
as she had abused her familys fortune
to try to be like everyone else
and be beyond them
i do not really know if she has achieved anything
she is not an artist
and she is a fraud
but then again she is just a sign to tell me something
and she acts like a bully
sometimes she says something of value
something goodhearted
this is very seldom too
she did want me to move in with her
i had merely said the only phrase i knew in her language
mi casa e su casa
add in shallowness as well to her list of faults
people do not really converse
all is made of power words
although i do remember one time
being yelled out
the person then turns to their friends again
and seemingly has a normal conversation with them
i do not have any sort of insights
and intuition does not exist
neither does creativity
as mentioned, work nor hard work does not exist
you get drunk and high and have sex
that is the only point
tracey you are a concoction of my sister
that is not to say you are bad or do not exist
maybe you do i do not know
i will not come visit you
i do not know what will happen
i could call you
but again i do not know what will happen
you sound quite normal but of course geeky
i am not a scorpio
i am not a desert person
i am not an ice person
i need to get something to eat
)
so i could wonder again if i am real
it did seem like all my efforts
to make things better were futile
i did improve people
then i lost them
all info points to
that they turned into what they where before
but worse
i cannot really understand
anything beyond becoming a parent
there is really no other meaning
i can point to people i have met
but they do not exist
i can analyze the very sourcecode
of this simulation
that is all