The neglience at the somatic housing just keeps getting worse
so, whats new? if you didnt know, i jumped a year ago. and since then, my legs are paralyzed.
anyway, this just in. miss fatty or the antichrist, which one is more corrupt? they are equally evil, just in different ways. and they copy eachothers tactics. if they happen to work together, its a nightmare.
while i have no rights, and they barely follow any rules they are supposed to. they can create makeshift rules just to punish me and not to put in any effort.
also, all staff have different rules for how they treat me or ignore me, and this changes constantly, usually meaning it gets worse and worse all the time. if i get lucky, they care.
so they started awhile ago to change me before i get breakfast. the thing is, they argue with me often, and i argue back. seemingly, if i say anything at all negative to their lies laziness manipulation greed (they steal things from me) constant yelling over nothing (some of them just yell all the time) or waste of resources (they throw away sheets if theres poo on them, if they throw away one per day thats 36500kr per year) they wont give me breakfast until later.
except, i often wake up 5-7, and am only given breakfast at 8:30-9:30 or later (this depends on the staff and their mood, of course). and obviously, if they make toast, it will be ice cold by the time i get it, as they take in the breakfast at the same time as they change me.
but yes, it got better. for dinner now they came at 17:00. the food is delivered at 16:00, and before id usually get it at 17:20, it was near completely cold then. if im lucky, i get it around 16:30 or so, but this has happened 5 times in 11 months.
so what happened today? why, they bring in the food, but dont give it to me. i eat in a minute or less, so thats not the point. they change me, and then give me the dinner. which obviously then was ice cold. this is against livsmedelsverkets (swedish FDA) rules on hygiene, as when food stays out it gets bacteria, rots and moulds and goes rancid. and cold food isnt tasty.
but again, if we argue, i dont get the dinner until hours later. and it doesnt have to be an argument, ill just ask that theyll treat me better, for which their favourite response is "we wont discuss this with you" / "dont discuss this with him".
this started when i stopped taking many pills, then they said im "not a priority" anymore. i have also been yelled out, for 30 mins, for not taking a pill then another staff forced me into the pill and i took it. so they got jealous that i didnt show them "love" by taking something that ruins my body and mind.
as ive stated before, some months ago, i had 20 pills a day, and one injection every 2 weeks. i slept or had anxiety or rested 20 hours or more per day.
they absolutely didnt care about this. and when i had anxiety, they turned much worse. as i usually had this every day, at least later in the day, living was hell.
except, some got happy (rather, aroused) when i had anxiety. so theyd ask over and over again, when id had anxiety for hours, if i was "sleeping". this is code word for "you are hot and you make me horny, please say that you are horny so we can have telepathic sex and everything will be alright, this is how i care about people which feel the worst in their entire life". since i obviously wasnt sleeping and this pissed me off to all hell, id yell that "no, im not sleepy, i have felt like shit for a long time today". the would never ever reply to this.
some imply that they have worked a lot of time in somatic care, and even the nurses too, saying they "know" a lot about anxiety. when i ask them what they know they cant answer. when i say how anxiety is to me they dont care at all.
one single time, ever, since 2006, has someone said i had anxiety. life was feeling hopeless at tullinge housing, and i went to the community space. i got to talk for 1 minute, until the staff patted me on the back (yes, 1/100 sec of touch, thats enough oxytocin for me alright) and said "its alright to have anxiety". except, i was just sad, which basically never happens.
then, of course, the washing machine had broken down at that exact moment so he could no longer care about me, and his wife called as well.
this is the story of my life. no one has ever talked to me. asked me how im doing. trying to explain how life works. hugged me. i always have to hug others. for 99% of them they hug me for 1 second then its all over.
av Heartgold Worldstone (ris och ros)
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