The new me

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so, for the past years, ever since i met bella basically, i have been on social media a lot. several sites. many times ive gotten tired by the sheer stupidity i have to scroll through. like new age or feminism quotes like "only care about people on your frequency" or "if someone is stealing your energy, cut them out of your life".

sorry, cant remember them, as they are so inane. same goes for porn, obviously, and we all know that. but, i still kept at it. i now follow like 100 people on instagram, and i dont get why. the pictures are boring, but art has bored me for a long time. there are some poets and theyre alright, but they dont inspire me.

they barely write back, no matter how much time i take to craft a message. spending 1 whole hour on 1 message is more of an understatement.

same goes for truther media. i dont know if its actually gotten stupider, but 95% are pure inbred lunacy. so you scroll through the feeds on various sites to get to the gems. sometimes only a few words, but sometimes amazing writings or a lot of links to indulge in further.

still, social media is stupid because everyone is on it. and the world doesnt create geniuses, it creates normal people.

so, now, it seems, i can finally watch videos without my brain going haywire. so ive been on youtube all day.

and im just amazed by the sheer quality of it. 1 hour or even more, of well-researched, well presented, illustrated, with background music.

so far from "i went to place X and heres an (ugly picture) of me there!" (rack up the likes).

what finally turned me off social media, is one guy who evidently "reads and writes 10 hours a day".

ive read a few his texts, but not much. but i tried one which seemed interesting. i started in the evening and finished at lunch the next day, inbetween sleeping and other things.

i also wrote a quite long reply about various topics he wrote about.

now, the dumb part. he doesnt seem to care about having a conversation at all. he only wants likes. and despite calling himself an old intellectual, hes incredibly dumb.

so he replies with a "thanks!" quickly. after 3 hours he puts a heart emoji on his on reply? (and for some reason, the algorithm thought this was important for me to get an update about).

it takes 3 whole days for him to respond, where he just says "i didnt quote wikipedia, i quoted a book".

i had mentioned something hed missed, and he did quote wikipedia at one point. i reply back but he doesnt care anymore, hes gotten his egoistical satisfaction.

after that, instead of "thanks!" spamming everyone, he now instead replies with a red heart.

this is what i see primarily on facebook and instagram. people so much crave love and affection and appretiation, but they dont want that. theyve replaced it with a statistic of how many likes and comments they get.

now they say TV dumbs you down, but i remember seeing for example many documentaries there, of whichs info many people in the truther community know nothing about.

and i just cant believe how stupid truthers are. they can in no way be sentient, intelligent, free-thinkers or awake people.

eyesiswatching for example. even channels that dont complain about jews (newsflash, it has nothing to do with them, its the khazarians) constantly get jew hate spam in their comments anyway, to the point, thats really the only thing the community which watches their videos talk about.

and flamewars. truthers on facebook just dont stand a chance. i remember one a week ago, someone posted a meme, and a chick quickly responds with some thoughtful opinions about it. it was a swedish one, and swedes are far more stupid than the rest of the world, even americans.

what ensued then was a 40 message flamewar between the chick and the hooligan retractor. i dont remember much of it, but his main point is that she had no office to talk about it, because she was "a used blonde".

this is me giving up on social media. and commenting on a youtube video? that only really works if you see a "premiere", otherwise your thoughts, no matter how well written, will be lost in thousands of others.

i also gave up on computergames, which ive tried many times in the past. one day, as i was playing, i instantly got bored of runescape, and figured i should watch youtube instead.

and here i am. indulging in quality content.

it might not make me as smart, as i take in info better if its text. but i see the world as something better now. both the futility in stupidity of the common netizen, but also that i just cant reach out to anyone. they quickly tire of me. no matter, again, of how intelligent my response is. i dont get it.

i know i was real chaotic before, and thats what turned people off. but now im just in a vicious circle. and youtube fills that void.

ive even stopped listening to music. i have the window open instead. i hear children playing, birds chirping, and cars going by. its good enough for me.

and since youtube videos never end in their supply, unlike comments, even if they are dumb, on a subject, do. i even ran out reading poems on a site, since i plowed through about a 100 of the ones posted each day.

and since everyone lives "here and now" (read: theyre alcoholics), getting a reply when you reply to something older than just 1 day, is farfetched.

so, hi youtube. neuroleptics change my personality all the time. but now, they did something good. i hope it stays that way. i only take potassium (for deficiencies) and 1mg risperdal when i feel i need them, not all the time, not in huge quantities, recommended by doctors who dont know me and have never met, where no one notificies me when theyve upped the dosage or added pills, and who never answer why theyve forced yet another pill on me or its effects or sideeffects.


av Tsofmia Neptlith (ris och ros)


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