Lilith

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so. a reply to miss G

"i have not met the prime-demon, but i have met plenty manifestations of de-man. this includes devils advocate (who i turned down), a gangleader (who i turned down), draconoids "we want you as a host" (they failed), and have gotten a visit from the prime-succubus [lilith/eve] (i screamed her name as i woke up, i dont know what she did to my body while my soul was somewhere else). the greatest energybeing i have met is the christian archangel for may, uriel. he manifested as a pink cloudpillar. i was woken up in my twinsouls (the second T in HBTTQ) emmas body in the middle of the night, on the other side of my bed. i dont remember what we talked about. i saw him one more time from a distance after id been at a friend place. i dont literally see wings / horns on people / myself, but i can percieve them anyway."

and heres further thinking on the topic,

come to think of it, i dont believe in succubus/incubus anymore. the reason bellas mom hooked me up with her, is because i gave her a spell id just found to remove a double-crossing (a generational curse on the womens side). christian hexes / curses, are called "crossings". i think you know why. though, in swedish, theres the similar word "krossa" which means "obliterate", like "krossa sten" (smash stone [into pieces / gravel]). in social context, "krossa" / "crush" is a word i use for the process of changing people. i always fail though. theyre just the same anyway, if not strengthened, and i feel like a shit. i guess they do as well, they just dont make it known. when i cussed out the countess, she tried flirting a couple of times in between. so i thought it a waste of time. which it was. since i deleted my internet presence after our conversation. i called her up later, and she was just laying in bed, and had a really light voice. i guess i crushed her then? great =(

anyway, the succubus / incubus thing. i did wake up from a boring dream, and moaned "oh eva". the thing is, my wifi isnt working, at my place, at least. so im surfing from the living roomapartment of the housing. i wont be able to sit here all day. the thing is, yesterday, my connection at homes was just 1 dot, and gods unchained obviously didnt work. it did work loading the game, but the cards loaded slowly (eventhough they are locally cached? ok..). and trying to turn on VPN only made it re-connect. so that didnt work. no site worked either, except for slashdot. so, i tried turning off every damn setting in opera. yes, you can still disable loading of images, hallelujah! now, said what you will of slashdot and its editors. i tried the registry, which had a whole lot less stories. and the comment section? was just a few of dudes trying to be funny while surfing from pubs. no thanks. eventhough obviously a lot of the real fans of slashdot have left, theres still plenty of comments on articles. and plenty of them are well-thoughtout and longer than a "tweet". the moderation system is still there. i usually ignore it completely, reading at -1 with all comments visible. i dont often manage to plow through every comment. but clicking to view replies to replies to replies over and over is annoying.

oh. i lost the topic again. right. ill lose it again. here we go. so my free wifi at home was in centibytes. even the single image for the free wifis login page took a long time to load. i did manage to load twitter once in awhile, but if i replied too fast, the connection was lost.

so, i tried to sleep. except, it was early. oh, went for a long walk. the connection wasnt fixed. grr. yep, did use that anti-earwax thing. then i figured hey, my ears are working, lets listen to this nice happy video with low sound, eventhough ive got the volume max, in headphones. it sounded nice and genuine. but its just 2 people fucking? why would i care?

so, the next day, my ears arent working again. miss mom mentioned that her (which i inherited) inner ears, are like crooked? well, i didnt think of that then. so i dripped in some earwaxmelter, and it just ran straight through, to the brains / synuses / throat(?). you know, when you accidently swallow saltwater? that feeling. wasnt fun. i could ask a nurse to cleanse the ears, but most dont know that special affinity our ears have. and really, i find the somatic to be worse than the psychiatric. (in somatic, they always think youre a hypocondriac. in the psychiatric system, THEYRE the hypocondriacs). anyway. what im trying to say. is the headphones fucked up my frequency. i dont know how it works. but it wasnt a good idea. i mean, i fixed my armchair with a simple fork. its not perfect, and the height is too low, but at least my back stopped aching.

and the greatest part is, this also ruined the free wifis frequency, or modus operandi. i surfed on it yesterday at this other place, and it worked. now it doesnt. so i use the places own wifi, which is bandwidth limited. sigh.

uh. right. so i also managed to get google and wikipedia to work. and i looked up lilith. woah. that tanakh is such a load of bull.

you have to be discerning with input. and what to sort out and what to take as granted. as for my moaning of "oh eva". lilith was adams first wife. so i could just as well have said "oh lilith". but the fifth dimension tries to be simple. so, i guess i made her pregnant? great. i have a demi-angel baby in the making? even better. i dont spend much time in the fifth dimension, so i guess i wont meet it (angel says "yes you will"). anyway, this new sofa (oh, leather, great. and its a leather armchair too. i get it. they didnt order a long one, so i can no longer rest in it. the greys are awesome) isnt that comfortable. neither is the height of the round table. great. i cant stay here much longer.

that long walk didnt seem to do anything. brb.